A bride whose seating arrangements at her wedding have left her mother "embarrassed" has been urged to rethink her decision.
The 33-year-old bride and original poster (OP), Reddit user PomegranateDry4848, detailed her dilemma on r/AITAH, explaining that her parents have been divorced for 10 years but her father had remarried four years ago.
"His wife and I are very close," the OP noted. "I'm like the daughter she never had (she has only sons) and I see her more than my mom since my mom lives out of our state."
This spring, the OP and her partner will be getting married at a small, intimate wedding with about 50 guests, and while her father's wife will have a seat at the head table, her mother's boyfriend will not.
Her mother, understandably isn't best pleased with the arrangement.
The OP explained, "I've met him a handful of times. He's been nice and respectful to me and my partner. He is invited to the wedding, but I have him at a table with some extended family.
"My mom is upset to put it lightly. She thinks he should be at the head table, or my dad's wife should be at another table. I tried to explain my reasoning but she says it's awkward and will make her feel embarrassed that she's there alone yet my dad is there with his wife.
"She also said that it will hurt her boyfriend's feelings too and I should consider "warming up" to him like I do to my stepmom. She hasn't outright said it but I know she doesn't like how close I am with stepmom.
"We haven't made any official final decision but I am leaning toward telling my mom 'I'm sorry but that's too bad'. I told her she's my mom and I really want her at the head table but she keeps saying it's embarrassing for her to be there alone."
Redditors' responses showcased the split in opinions, with some labeling her decision unfair while others supported her reasoning.
One commenter criticized her choice, writing, "YTA. Sorry. I totally understand why, but essentially you're asking your mom to sit by herself while everyone else at the head table is with a partner.
"You're sending a huge message that isn't necessary. There's room at the table, so how does that impact you letting him sit there? Seems petty for no reason."
"He's not related by blood or marriage"
Meanwhile, others sided with the OP, pointing to her right to prioritize relationships with stronger connections.
One Redditor noted, "He's not related by blood or marriage. So long as every other +1 at the head table is related by blood or marriage, I see no problem with having mom's boyfriend at the extended family table."
The Headache of Wedding Seating Plans
Deciding the seating arrangements can be one of the most difficult and emotional aspects of wedding planning, especially in blended families. According to The Knot, etiquette guides suggest balancing practical and emotional considerations.
Couples are encouraged to prioritize their comfort and relationships when deciding who sits where, though this can lead to friction among family members.
A Newsweek article highlighted similar tensions in another case where the mother of the bride invited her son despite the bride intentionally excluding him, which ended with the couple choosing to elope to save themselves from the drama.
Newsweek has contacted PomegranateDry4848 comment via Reddit.
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