A Reddit post recounting a dramatic Thanksgiving family fallout has gone viral, drawing widespread attention online.
The post, shared by a 29-year-old man under u/alert-glove2100, describes how his fiancee's cooking skills—or lack thereof—led to a Thanksgiving confrontation and a decision to leave the family celebration early.
The controversy began when the Reddit user's mother requested his fiancee, Julia, to prepare the Thanksgiving turkey, despite knowing her limited experience in the kitchen. Julia, who has a demanding career, opted for a practical solution: purchasing a turkey from Whole Foods to avoid the stress of cooking under pressure.
While she was proud of her contribution, her future mother-in-law was reportedly furious upon learning the turkey wasn't homemade, interpreting it as a failure to honor family traditions.
"Julia said sheepishly that she'd purchased it from Whole Foods, my mom was furious," the man said. "Julia apologized and said she just wanted to make sure the family had something enjoyable.
"[My mom] said this showed a lack of respect and also an unwillingness to 'grow up,'" the poster added.
However, the tension escalated, with his mother criticizing Julia's suitability as a wife and future mother. Frustrated by the hostility, the couple decided to leave the gathering, taking the turkey with them and joining Julia's family instead.
"These types of family conflicts happen to so many people, especially during the emotionally charged holiday season," Christoffel Sneijders, a therapist, told Newsweek.
He explained the incident using his "3 Brains Intelligence Theory," which explores how emotions influence behavior.
Sneijders said that the man's mother's reaction stemmed from her "gut brain," prioritizing tradition and family values. For her, asking Julia to cook the turkey was not just a culinary request but also a test of alignment with family traditions.
The fiance acted from his "heart brain," seeking to protect his relationship and ensure Julia felt supported, while his fiancee's response was guided by her "head brain," focusing on a logical, stress-reducing solution to contribute to the meal.
"These dynamics are so common because each person's dominant brain prioritizes different emotional needs, creating misunderstandings that can escalate quickly," Sneijders said.
The post, shared on November 28, has since amassed more than 12,000 upvotes and hundreds of comments, with many users siding with the couple.
"She 100 percent set Julia up to fail," one viewer said. "She has an issue that she doesn't cook, so when she offers to help your mother gives her the most difficult and the most important cooking task for Thanksgiving dinner?"
Another added: "I'm sorry your mother has put you in such a stressful place. Stick to what you know is right. And let your mom know she just permanently damaged the chances of her and Julia ever having any kind of a meaningful relationship. And that if she can't support your relationship with Julia she can expect to not be a part of your life anymore."
"Julia and I are both devastated, but I've assured her that this is my mom's issue and not hers," the man said.
Newsweek reached out to u/alert-glove2100 for more information via Reddit.
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