David Bowie had a savage reaction when I fell over at his feet

Spandau Ballet star Martin Kemp really struck Gold when he met fellow 80s icon Shirlie. 

After more than 30 years of marriage, the couple, aged 63 and 62 respectively, tell Thomas Stichbury about the secret to a long-lasting relationship, the hardships they’ve overcome, and not letting the spark between them fizzle out.

Take me back to the very beginning of your relationship. Was it love at first sight?

Martin: Yeah, it was for me. I saw Shirlie on television, the first time I ever saw her. She was doing Top of the Pops. It was, kind of, like – I think it was infatuation.

My first crush was Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus. But then I turned out to be gay. So, I still need to unpack what that means…

Shirlie: [Laughs] You’ll have to look into that.

You tied the knot in 1988. Most marriages, let alone showbiz ones, don’t last that long. What’s your secret? What tips do you have?

S: What are the ingredients? What’s going on? I think we’re really good friends. We’re similar in our outlooks to life. We’re decent people. We both had a working-class upbringing, and our values are the same. Martin’s never done anything where I’ve thought, I don’t like that, that would put me off him. He treats people kindly. He’s got good morals. I remember when we first met, when we were in Ireland, and there were all these kids who were begging for money. They were all running round you, and Martin gave any money he had on him.

M: Shirlie hit the nail on the head when she said friendship is one of the most important things to keep a marriage going. No matter how much you love each other, the thing you have to look after, the bedrock, is the friendship. That underpins everything. That makes you love each other.

A family member of mine got divorced a couple of years ago. I noticed that they just started to laugh less and less.

M: You’ve got to laugh.

S: I’m always making you laugh, and I don’t even mean to.

M: Shirlie always has. Even when we first met, she used to do these mad impressions, and I used to roll on the floor laughing… it’s one of the most important things to hang onto.

No pressure, Shirlie, but feel free to do an impression for me now…

M: Go on, Shirl!

S: [Laughs] I’m not in mode.

Tell me about easyJet’s Rekindle the Romance campaign. Why did you both want to be a part of it?

S: Because it’s so true. I am absolutely a person who loves short breaks, and it does me the world of good. I love it when you’re out of that home environment. Suddenly you look at your husband, and you realise, oh my God, this was – because Martin and I, when we met, we were travelling, we were on planes. He was one side of the world. I was on the other. I really connect to us being in that situation, meeting in hotel rooms. For me, it just awakens and reminds me of, wow, that’s how we used to be when we were younger… it takes you out of your [home] routine.

M: When you are parents, it doesn’t matter how old your kids are, whether they’re small, or grown-up, like ours are, there’s always the stress of them being around, because they always have their problems that you have to sort out and help them with or talk to them about. It is nice to get away and get your own space because it feels like, when you go away on holiday… it feels like you’re dating again. Before you go out to eat, you’ve got a bit of tan going, maybe, your white clothes on, it feels special… my mum and dad, it was the only time I ever used to see them holding hands.

Martin, are you saying that the secret to a happy marriage is tan lines?

M: [Laughs] I wouldn’t say that. But I would say they’re enjoyable!

Statistics show that four in five couples find parenting sometimes extinguishes the spark in a relationship. Can you relate to that? Have you gone through dry patches?

M: That is why we are doing this campaign. That’s why Shirlie and I thought it was a good idea, because you do need to work at it. It doesn’t just all fall into place naturally. Especially when you’re bringing up kids, it is very up and down. It’s stressful. You need to take a break every now and again for yourself.

S: Having children is a massive responsibility. It’s the toughest thing you ever do. It’s the most responsibility you have. The relationship does take on a whole different aspect. That is also a fantastic thing to enjoy together. But as I said earlier, going away and getting there, you’re like, ah, we don’t have to think about anything, other than what we’re going to eat, or where we’re going to go. That’s the mental break.

Where is the most romantic place you’ve been to? Ever, say, skinny-dipped in the Seychelles?

M: [Laughs] Not on a weekend!

S: We love going to the south of France. I find it very romantic. Rome, we like… we live in the countryside, so I love going to cities, because there is so much going on, and I want to absorb everything. I’m nosy. Martin sometimes loses me, because I’ve seen something and walked off!

Parents provide the blueprint for love and relationships, for better or worse, depending on the circumstances. What do you think Roman and Harley learned from you guys?

S: Well, my daughter wrote a song about our family, actually. She summed it up in a really lovely way. She said, “I know what good looks like.” And she meant that about our relationship. She just said, “Yours and dad’s relationship looks so good, it’s going to be hard to get something as good as that.” I really cried when she played it. It feels like a compliment because you never know if you’re doing it right.

M: When I grew up, like I said earlier, the only time I remember my mum and dad holding hands was when they were, probably, walking along the beach. I think even then they turned round to see if we were looking, because they were so embarrassed about everything. If two people were kissing on television, the whole family would make out we were asleep for half an hour, because it was embarrassing. Shirlie and I wanted to be far more open with Harley and Roman, about our feelings, towards each other, towards them, and just make the whole thing open.

Do you make sure you have date nights regularly scheduled in the diary? In my head, Martin, I’m picturing you setting the tone with a Spandau Ballet number. Please don’t disappoint me!

S: [Laughs] Of course. He’ll start playing True in the background. I’ll make the dinner. Candles on. Spaghetti’s out.

M: Because we are lucky enough to be in that position where we have a lot of nice evenings, a lot of nice things that we do, I don’t think we have such things as ‘date nights.’ But we try and make everything quite nice.

S: We don’t call them date nights. There’s no cut-off.

M: We try and do date night all the time.

S: If I’m going to give any relationship advice it is, don’t take each other for granted. Martin and I have gone through a lot in our life. When Martin was sick [he was diagnosed with two brain tumours in the nineties] that gave me so much gratitude that I’m so happy he’s well. You, kind of, compare everything to when he was sick. I’m just so happy whatever he’s doing now, because that was a hard place to be in when someone’s that poorly. When they’re well, you watch them do the simplest things and think, that’s fantastic.

Do you think there is a smidge of ageism when it comes to relationships between people of a certain age? It feels like after 50, society dismisses you as romantically redundant and almost sexless.

S: My 60 is nothing like my mum’s 60. My mum did look like an old lady, God bless her.

M: That, Shirlie, is a really good answer.

S: I know, mentally, I’m so young, because I haven’t thought myself into being an old person. I don’t really put myself in a category of thinking how old I am, or what I should, shouldn’t be doing. It’s more like, waking up and being spontaneous. It’s really hard to answer, because I don’t know how other people look at us. [Do they think], ‘They’re over the hill.’

M: I think Shirlie’s right. We are a lot younger nowadays than we used to be. Fifty to me, it sounds like a whippersnapper. Is there an ageism? You know what, I think we should go out of our way for there not to be.

A lot of artists these days are speaking out about fans overstepping boundaries and harassing them. During your respective musical heydays, did any diehard devotees ever cross the line?

S: For me, fans were always after George and Andrew, and if they weren’t after George and Andrew, they were after Martin [laughs]. So, I was never affected by fans. But then I always used to think, well, I don’t blame them!

M: Did they cross the line? No, I don’t they [did]. Back in the day, we’re talking about 40 years ago now, they had every right to cross the line, trying to climb in through windows into your dressing room, accosting you while you’re out in the street. That’s what fans do.

S: I remember when we lived in Islington, in the flat, and there were about four, five girls, and they were just singing the Spandau Ballet songs. It was so embarrassing.

Have either of you had an awkward showbiz encounter?

M: I used to hang out with a fella called Steve Strange. He was my best friend. He used to run the Blitz Club. He took me to this party… I knew at one point that evening David Bowie was going to come… all of a sudden, he walked in. He was [my] idol, on my bedroom wall, I used to wake up looking at him every single morning… I thought I’ve got to go over and shake his hand. But it was the end of the night, so I was a little bit worse for wear. 

As I shook his hand, the first thing I did was start to do that sideways crab. I literally fell over and landed up against the wall. He just looked down at me and tutted [laughs].

Martin and Shirlie Kemp have partnered with easyJet to launch the airline’s new Rekindle the Romance package. For more information visit easyjet.com.

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