We have to grab this opportunity with both hands. Gregg Wallace’s middle-class-women-of-a-certain-age-gate video was many, many, many things, but we need to ensure it is also a watershed moment.
Going forward, can this be the way that we deal with men who are accused of this kind of behaviour, please? No more hiding behind crisis management, expensive lawyers or experienced PRs, let these men defend themselves directly to the public. Looking straight down the camera lens, speaking live and unedited about how they really feel.
That way we get the true measure of the man, straight from the horse’s mouth, and can make our own minds up about what we really think. Maybe some of these mea-not-quite-culpas wouldn’t even end up being blasted by a Downing Street spokesperson as “completely inappropriate and misogynistic” and everything!
Wallace’s lawyers have of course denied that he engages in sexually harassing behaviour. He didn’t directly address any of the claims made against him in the video, but it was extremely illuminating throughout nevertheless, so let’s take a wander through it and make sure we really have soaked up every single detail.
HE SAID: “Now, I’ve been doing MasterChef for 20 years. Amateur, celebrity, and professional MasterChef. And I think in that time, I have worked with over 4,000 participants of all different ages, all different backgrounds, all walks of life. And apparently now, I’m reading in the paper, there’s been 13 complaints in that time.”
This is like Jack The Ripper being outraged he wasn’t praised for all the people he didn’t murder. Just the 13 complaints, what’s the big deal? Why is no one talking about all the people who haven’t complained, eh? They’re the only ones we should be listening to.
HE SAID: “Now, in the newspaper, I can see the complaints coming from a handful of middle-class women of a certain age, just from celebrity MasterChef. This isn’t right.”
It’s up themselves, dried-up old poshos with ideas above their station who don’t know how to have a laugh causing problems for me, a lovable bantz legend! File this under Definitely Their Problem, because it certainly isn’t mine. Lighten up, ladies!
HE SAID: “In over 20 years of television, can you imagine how many women, female contestants on MasterChef, have made sexual remarks or sexual innuendo? Can you imagine?”
They did it first! It’s all their fault, not mine. If anything, I am the true victim. I didn’t complain about them, did I? Because I can take a joke, see. Once it became impossible to ignore just how spectacularly badly Gregg’s video had landed, he posted a second, which again shed a lot of light on who he really is.
HE SAID: “I want to apologise for any offence that I caused with my post yesterday and any upset I may have caused to a lot of people.”
Note “may.” Downing Street got involved, mate, Downing Street.
HE SAID: “I wasn’t in a good head space when I posted it, I’ve been under a huge amount of stress, a lot of emotion, I felt very alone, under siege yesterday when I posted it.”
Translation: Boo hoo hoo.
HE SAID: “It’s obvious to me I need to take some time out now while this investigation is under way. I hope you understand and I do hope you accept this apology.”
And so, our hero shuffles off into the sunset, after only apologising for the apology. Bye then, Gregg – take all the time you need, honestly.
English (US) ·