Kaleb Cooper's terrifying encounter as he risked being 'blinded and suffocated in sleep'

Kaleb Cooper told all about how his mother's penchant for unusual pets left him quaking - and he even contemplated hiding under the sofa when one with the power to blind him went missing.

Jeremy Clarkson's famous TV sidekick was just 14 or 15 when a tarantula his mum had been keeping vanished while in their home. When she rushed into his bedroom at the crack of dawn one morning to share the bad news, he was so sleepy he assumed he was having a nightmare.

Later that morning, he exclaimed: "I had a funny dream last night, that you told me the tarantula had escaped," and she shot back, 'No, Kaleb, it has, I can't find it anywhere.' The horrified farmer continued: "It was a Chilean rose tarantula, which can shoot fur into your eyes and blind you. Why on earth you would have that in your house, I do not know."

He was begrudgingly forced to admit "her house, her rules, her insane pets" - and while the tarantula was eventually found under the sofa (ironically one of the first places Kaleb had thought of hiding), there was more terror to come.

"When blokes have a midlife crisis, they get a sports car or ponytail, but for mum, it was a giant predatory snake that could suffocate you in your sleep," he groaned. "She'll kill me for saying that... but then I've already survived a poisonous fur-flinging tarantula and a man-eating reptile with coils or death, so I fancy my chances."

Kaleb confessed all in his new book, It's A Farming Thing, which sees him share "the highs, lows and unexpected adventures" of life on a farm.

He wasn't raised in the industry, but his experiences at home with his mum had taught him to be prepared for anything.

However, he still has traumatic memories about the time he was almost left "infertile" after being set upon by a goose.

"I've never forgiven the goose that attacked my, um, delicate parts and almost ended my family line," Kaleb, who now has two children, exclaimed.

Controversially quipping that geese get "what's coming to them" when they're cooked for Christmas dinner, he exclaimed: "They say that revenge is a dish best served cold.

"Anyone who's tried potatoes roasted in goose fat can tell you the opposite is true."

On a similar note, he added that the trend in Cambodia for eating deep-fried tarantulas "might upset my mum, but I'd say it's getting your retaliation in first".

Kaleb Cooper: It's A Farming Thing is out now, published by Quercus Books, and costs £20.