And just like that, “Sex and the City” star Kristin Davis learned a valuable lesson about mixing finances and dating.
Davis, known to millions of fans of the HBO series as Charlotte York, revealed on her podcast “Are You a Charlotte?” that she was ghosted after loaning a man $5,000.
In an episode released Monday, Davis chatted with guest Sarah Wynter, an Australian actor who appeared in the series’ pilot. The two discussed the art of disappearing as it relates to dating, a topic that came up when Wynter ― whose character was the first person ever depicted having sex on the series ― noted that she was also the “first person to be ghosted.”
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“I did one time date this out-of-work actor,” Davis told Wynter. “I think this was before ‘Sex and the City,’ maybe between [‘Melrose Place’] and ‘Sex and the City,’ or maybe when I was on ‘Melrose.’ I don’t know. He’s now very successful.”
Davis recalled that she was making a name for herself at the time, but her beau was not as fortunate. She remembered going to his apartment and spotting a slew of termination notices scattered all over the place. Davis said this actor also “wrecked his motorcycle” and had no way to get to his auditions. She said she then made the “horrible mistake” of asking: “Can I lend you some money?”
“The kiss of death,” Wynter replied.
As Carrie Bradshaw might put it, lending money to someone you’re dating is like mixing business with pleasure ― you think you can keep it casual, but it always complicates things. Today, Davis’ advice to listeners is simply to never do it.
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“It changed the dynamic in a horrible way, and it was a kind of a casual thing, right?” Davis said. “I probably should have known better. You know what I’m saying? But I just felt like, ‘I can help, I should help this guy. He’s so talented’ — which he is. I lend him money. I think it was all of $5,000 ... So I lent him this money and then, you know, he stopped calling. And I’m like, ‘What the heck?’”
After the man went missing like a cloud on a sunny day, Davis said, she went to his apartment, where she recalled “banging on the door.” There was no answer, but the man later called her and asked if that had been her at the door. And that’s when Davis said she suddenly felt “embarrassed,” and like she’d been “messy” about the whole ordeal. Carrie herself might’ve been able to tell Davis that when you lend a partner money, you have the potential of risking not just your finances, but also your self-respect.
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Davis didn’t quite specify whether she ever got her money back. Wynter, however, was nothing but supportive, and encouraged Davis to go recoup whatever amount she was owed.
“Let’s add up, like ― with interest. With interest. The mid-’90s,” Wynter said. “I would go knock on his door again. Where does he live? Let’s go.”
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