A wedding invitation is an offer, not an obligation—that's the takeaway from a lively online discussion about a man who declined his friend's wedding invitation because it didn't include a plus-one for his wife.
The man, posting as MBWill8809 on Reddit explained that his longtime friend was hosting a large wedding with more than 250 guests. To accommodate more acquaintances, the couple decided not to offer plus-ones to certain invitees.
'Lashing out'
The original poster (OP) had no issue with this, nor did his wife. However, he preferred to attend weddings as a couple—especially given the long duration, unfamiliar guests and the fact that the reception was an hour away, requiring overnight plans.
When he RSVP'd no, his friend reacted with frustration. Despite offering a gift and well wishes, the groom pushed back, eventually hanging up when the man pointed out that declines were inevitable with such a guest policy.
"Talking to my dad, who has known him for 28 years, and met his fiancée as well, he said his anger may be that he's getting far more declines than they expected and is lashing out," the OP told Redditors.
The reaction to his post was overwhelmingly in his favor. As one Reddit user wrote, "A wedding invite is just that, an invite. You never have to go, but you're allowed to. That's what an invite is. There is never a reason you'd be the a****** for not going."
Relationship Priorities
Another agreed, saying, "It's completely reasonable to want to attend as a couple, especially at a wedding where you're expected to be there all day.
"You've made it clear to your friend why you're declining, and it's not like you're holding a grudge. If the invitation didn't include a plus-one, that's their choice, but you're allowed to prioritize your own comfort and preferences.
"The fact that your friend is upset over something so small is a bit much. Your relationship with your wife should come first!"
While opinions on wedding etiquette vary, some traditions remain widely recognized.
Many etiquette experts suggest that married couples should be invited together, but modern guest lists are shaped by budget constraints, venue limitations and personal choices of the couple.
Some argue that a wedding is a private event where hosts have full control, while others believe that excluding spouses can be seen as inconsiderate.
Beyond etiquette, research suggests that strong spousal relationships contribute to well-being.
A study from Brigham Young University's Social Sciences Department found that having a supportive partner can improve physical and emotional health.
Their research, titled "Why Supportive Spouses Have Better Hearts", highlights how shared experiences, including attending significant events together, can reinforce a sense of connection and partnership.
While couples have the right to set their own wedding rules, guests have an equal right to decline. Weddings are meant to be a celebration, not a summons.
'She's a great hang!'
In the thread, the OP reassured a user that he and his wife were both more than capable of spending time at events alone.
"We do it regularly in our lives, most people do," he added.
"I very much enjoy spending time with her and we always have a blast together at weddings. She's a great hang!"
Newsweek has contacted MBWill8809 comment via Reddit.
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