An engagement can be an exciting time for the whole family but one woman recently got an unexpected reaction from her brother after revealing that she planned to get married.
Reddit user Andthatsfine explained that her partner proposed at the Grand Canyon—a few hours away from her where her brother got married and three days after his wedding.
Her post, titled "AITA for getting engaged after my brother's wedding?," quickly went viral, earning 12,000 upvotes.
"When I shared the news with my brother and now SIL (sister-in-law), he responded with hostility, saying that it looked like we were competing," she wrote.
According to Statista, December is the most popular month for engagements, followed closely by the summer months.
Newsweek reached out to U.K.-based wedding expert Amanda Wheal to explore whether proposing so soon after a loved one's wedding is considered poor etiquette.
Wheal commented: "This is a strange situation where essentially the couple has done nothing wrong."
However, the newlyweds felt differently. The poster explained that she apologized, even though she struggled to understand why they were upset.
"I also texted SIL a separate apology, explaining that it was not our intent to encroach," she wrote. "We just wanted to share the news with family, and I believe there's room for happiness for everyone. She did not respond."
Her brother, however, did. He explained that the "timing and location were hurtful" and suggested they should not have gotten engaged so close to his special occasion.
Wheal of Amanda's Beautiful Ceremonies told Newsweek that weddings can sometimes inspire others to propose.
"I feel that maybe the one who proposed thought it would be a great opportunity to do so in such a special location, which is totally understandable," she said. "Who would want to miss such an opportunity? It's something they might regret forever."
Wheal and many Reddit users agreed that the couple had not done anything wrong. However, Wheal clarified that proposing at someone else's wedding is a different matter entirely.
She added: "Proposing at someone else's actual wedding is not impressive. Some might even say it's lazy. The stage is already beautifully set, creating a romantic atmosphere, so there's less effort required. I also think it would place incredible pressure on the person being proposed to. That moment should be remembered for your special occasion, not as something overshadowed by someone else's wedding day."
The top comment on the December 25 post, which had 17,000 upvotes at the time of writing, expressed sympathy for the poster.
It said: "I can see you're trying valiantly to understand, but I'm not sure your brother or his wife will be able to give you a good reason for their reaction. Cause their reaction is WILD!
"Sure, it's rude to propose at someone else's wedding, but that's not what happened. The fact that you and your fiancé got engaged a few days after their wedding, before you flew home, is a totally different thing.
"Also, the level of hostility in that message from your brother is nasty and definitely not normal. I'm so sorry that he treats you like that."
Another user agreed: "Your brother needs to calm down. The bride gets a day – her wedding day. She doesn't get a location, a week, or anything else. She gets her wedding. That's all. You did not encroach."
Newsweek reached out to u/andthatsfine for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
English (US) ·