‘The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim’ (review)

I always find the hardest reviews to write are the ones where I am neither passionately enamored with the film, nor I am livid with rage against the offending picture I wasted time upon viewing.

These nonplussed, or indifferent reviews are where I falter.

Sure there were some good things about the film in question, but equally there are as many strikes against it.

It lives in my brainpan as wholly meh.

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim falls squarely in this realm.

I think it kinks up my brain because I really wanted to like it.

I thought, “ How can they fuck this up?”

They have all the ingredients to make the absolutely most delicious concoction. What I am served is a kind of bland mediocre substance that doesn’t outright offend me but doesn’t dazzle me either.

I think that is the most perplexing thing.

Lord of the Rings: The War of The Rohirrim is the tale of Helm Hammerhand, King of Rohan, the namesake of Helm’s Deep and overall good ruler. He is excellently voiced by Brian Cox (Succession). It, however, is more the tale of his daughter Héra and her strength and leadership that will be called upon to save her land. Héra is wonderfully voiced by Gaia Wise.

Set 183 years before the events of The Fellowship, Two Towers, and Return of the King, the kingdom of Rohan finds itself challenged and under threat by Wulf, the clever and ruthless Dunlending Lord who seeks vengeance after the death of his father at the hands of Helm. Wulf, who grew up with Héra and was originally seeking her hand in marriage which sets off this entire debacle, leads eventually to Wulf being banished from the land.

Years pass and Wulf, now Lord of the Wildfolk, threatens Rohan.

It will take all the courage and guile Héra can summon to fight back the breaking wave of destruction thrust upon the kingdom when Helm and his two sons, Haleth and Hama are no longer able to defend it.

The short tale that LotR: TWotR is based on can be originally found in Appendix A at the end of  The Return of the King”. It is here expanded upon by original LotR movie trilogy screenwriter Philippa Boyens. Boyens was also co-producer of the original LotR movie trilogy as well as The Hobbit, both directed by Peter Jackson.

Originally only a few paragraphs long, Boyens, along with screenwriters Jeffrey Addiss & Will Matthews and Phoebe Gittins & Arty Papageorgiou have taken it upon themselves to create a completely fleshed out story of the epic battle of the Rohirrim and the fate of the First Line of the Kings of Rohan.

Sounds awesome right?

Well, it should be. I am just really confused as to why I am left feeling just meh about the entire movie. I am going to endeavor to figure out why and also let you know what I thought about this film.

As an avid admirer of the world and tales of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I admit that I am no scholar nor could I ever hope to be on the level of Stephen Colbert. I do love these books and this world Tolkien has created.

I came to the world of Middle Earth late. I was in my teens when I first read The Hobbit and in my twenties when I cracked the spine of the LotR trilogy. Since then, I have read The Silmarillion, the OG trilogy, The Hobbit as well as some of the other Middle Earth tales numerous times year after year.

I think I can boil the whole reason I’m disappointed in War of the Rohirrim down to the fact that I feel like it isn’t a tale that needed expanding upon. What I read in the Appendices was enough. At no point was I ever in want of knowing more.

I will say this.

What I did like, was the wholesale creation and development of Héra. I loved her character. This is something that Boyens and Fran Walsh, with Jackson, have done well numerous times within the previous films. Arwyn, Galadriel, and Eowyn, had all seen their roles effectively expanded to great effect. And in the case of Tauriel, created from scratch, in The Hobbit, though to less effect.

The idea of taking the unnamed almost throwaway character of “Helm’s daughter” and developing her into a fully fleshed out badass woman warrior is 100% in my wheelhouse and I say, “Bring it on!” The writers did it with aplomb, if you ask me. I was fully engaged with her character throughout The War of the Rohirrim.

I think my issue stems from all the crap surrounding her, story wise. I just didn’t care. It felt like a rehash of events and character motivations I already saw done way more effectively in the OG film trilogy and even in the trainwreck that was the three Hobbit films.

If they were going to write and expand upon Héra and her former Shield Maiden and now lady’s maid, Olwyn, then use that as a vehicle to tell the story that is only hinted at in this movie. I want to see the original Shield Maiden’s story and how they were the last line of defense of Rohan after all the men were no longer able to fight. I mean the film even has Eowyn herself, Miranda Otto, returning to voice the narration throughout the movie.

I am a self-proclaimed weeaboo, formally known as an otaku (Lover of anime and Japanese nerd culture). My love of anime runs deep and long going all the way back to my early childhood watching Speed Racer, Star Blazers, Gigantor, and Astro Boy to the present day. So when I saw that there was a new LotR anime movie featuring The Rohirrim and the story of Helm Hammerhand, I was ready.

LotR and anime?

Two great tastes that taste great together. The fact that it was being co-written by Philippa Boyens, produced by Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh, and directed by Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex director Kenji Kamiyama made me think “What could go wrong?”.

Then, I remembered my horrific inability to turn away from the slow motion car crash that was Rings of Power on Amazon Prime. That sparked off PTSD flashbacks to my horror of watching the nightmare fuel that was Jackson’s terrible CGI digitally manipulated “documentary” mini-series The Beatles: Get Back. Full body shudder.

I started to fret.

Now, I will say that The War of the Rohirrim isn’t anything as bad as the godawful fanfiction like stories presented in The Rings of Power. And yet I couldn’t stop watching that damn show… What sorcery is happening there? Sorry… I am digressing.

Where was I? Oh right.

The animation of WotR is absolutely stunning and nothing less than I would expect from the award-winning animation veteran director, Kamiyama. Kenji’s direction and eye on design, scene composition, and characterizations are all his usual exceptional caliber.

The fact that they had the master LotR veterans at WETA at their disposal for costume details, armor and armory designs and the incredible wealth of their archives to draw upon, literally gave the film an authenticity that elevated it visually to that of the original trilogy.

The story, however, plays out a little too long. It feels like it could have used one more re-write to trim out a little more of the “fat and padding”. As I mentioned earlier, this tale is an expanded version of a less than 2-page story in Appendix A of The Return of the King novel.

Instead of taking this an opportunity to weave a tight streamlined story we are saddled with another over bloated 2-hours+ expounded tale that seems more of a rehash of things we have already seen in the original LotR trilogy. WotR plays out more like The Hobbit Trilogy in its use of unnecessary expanded storytelling than the crucial deleted scenes reinserted into the OG LotR films used to create the Expanded Editions, which in my humble opinion, is the only way to watch the films.

Here is the thing that I really want to say which will seem strange after all my nitpicking and seeming complaints.

I don’t hate this.

I want you to see this.

In fact, I really hope you go and see this. It is a beautifully animated film. If you are even slightly into either the world of J.R.R. Tolkien or a fan of anime then this movie should be viewed. The creators did a marvelous job at bringing Middle Earth to life in a new medium that looks visually different however settles perfectly within the already established world created 23 years ago.

Is it perfect? Not at all.

Is it offensive? Not in the least.

If anything, it’s only crime is making wish there was less but also more.

I am left adrift in the Bay of Belfalas.

*  *  *  *  *
Produced by Philippa Boyens,
Jason DeMarco, Joseph Chou
Screenplay by Jeffrey Addiss, Will Matthews,
Phoebe Gittins, Arty Papageorgiou
Story by Jeffrey Addiss, Will Matthews. Philippa Boyens
Based on Characters created by J. R. R. Tolkien
Directed by Kenji Kamiyama
Starring Brian Cox, Gaia Wise, Luke Pasqualino, Miranda Otto