A boyfriend is being accused by his dieting girlfriend of being "unsupportive" for what he was going to order for delivery to their home.
However, the girlfriend won few supporters from Reddit critics once the boyfriend, using the handle Strong-Ad-5570, appealed for opinions online this week.
'She's overweight'
The original poster (OP) explained that his girlfriend's New Year's resolution was to cut down on the amount of takeaways she eats and not drink alcohol at home.
"She's doing this to try to be healthier as she's slightly overweight," the OP told Redditors.
Asked about his Saturday plans, the boyfriend told her, "I'm probably going to just order something, so she can just get something for herself.
"She asked if I [was] serious and accused me of being unsupportive," the OP continued.
"I told her I was supporting her, but that doesn't mean making the same choices she does. I said that I wasn't expecting her to order food with me and that my food choices shouldn't affect hers.
"She just said I was wrong for planning to do it and that I should be supporting her.
The OP's tale raised the question: Should one partner's resolution obligate the other to change their behavior?
'Passion project'
In response, one typical Reddit user wrote, "While she may want to change, there's no reason for her to start changing you too. You're your own person, not someone else's passion project."
A supporter added, "The sheer audacity is off the charts. Why shouldn't you be able to eat takeout?
"Imagine deciding to give up something and thinking your partner has to do the same."
The conversation reflects a common theme in relationships—balancing personal goals with shared commitments.
According to an article by Piedmont Healthcare, resolutions often serve as a symbolic reset button, fueled by a surge of dopamine. But sustaining these goals requires structure and compassion.
Piedmont suggests seeking support from loved ones, rewarding progress and practicing self-compassion to avoid burnout or resentment.
Finding Ways to Align
Rosie Shrout, an assistant professor of human development at Purdue University, raises the health benefits of fostering supportive relationships.
In her research, she explains that, "Showing your love is good for the person being loved and the person giving love."
Shrout advises that couples can strengthen their bond by discussing goals together and finding ways to align efforts, rather than imposing unilateral changes.
The Reddit thread exposed the complexities of sharing lifestyle choices. One commentator drew a sharp comparison, writing, "She's not a recovering alcoholic.
"Plus even if she was, that's on her. It's not fair to ask others to change for her."
Such remarks highlight the line between support and control, with many users calling for compromise rather than coercion.
Experts suggest that communication and collaboration are key in managing differences. Shrout recommends actionable steps, such as scheduling time to discuss goals and aligning them with shared interests, to reduce friction.
As noted in the Piedmont article, success often lies in mutual encouragement rather than forced participation.
'Not making her eat'
The OP admitted in the thread that the couple live together, so his girlfriend will be present when he is eating his takeout.
"It's not unsupportive for me to eat what I choose," the OP reasoned, "I'm not offering it to my partner and not making her eat or drink it."
Newsweek has contacted Strong-Ad-5570 for comment via Reddit.
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