A Reddit user has gained the support of viewers online after sharing his frustration over the birthday gifts his wife had given him weeks earlier.
Posting on January 20, the man said that his wife had gifted him items that he had explicitly told her he does not want. He had taken to the platform, under the username u/SoggySwitch7995, to say how disappointed he had felt receiving a Keurig coffee maker and a yeti tumbler, despite making it clear to his wife beforehand that he had no use for either gadget.
The man said that he had provided his wife with several suggestions for birthday gifts, around the time of his birthday two months ago.
She later asked if he would like a coffee maker, to which he responded no, citing his preference for instant coffee and his negative experience with a previous Keurig machine. He added that he had asked her to speak with his mother-in-law to stop the annual gifting of yeti tumblers, which he never used.
"When my birthday came, I opened my two gifts," he wrote in the post. "It's a Keurig coffee maker and a yeti.
"Both gifts from my wife. I told her to give me the receipts so I could return them," he added.
Seth Eisenberg, president and CEO of the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (PAIRS) Foundation, provided his professional perspective on the situation.
"Every interaction in a relationship either deposits or withdraws from our invisible emotional bank accounts, a concept PAIRS calls the 'Love Bank'," Eisenberg told Newsweek. "Feeling seen, valued, and respected adds deposits, while feeling ignored or dismissed creates withdrawals.
"In this case, the gifts felt like withdrawals because the wife ignored the husband's preferences, which he had clearly communicated," Eisenberg said.
The dilemma has struck a chord with Reddit users, amassing more than 22,000 upvotes and thousands of comments in just a day, with most viewers backing the man.
In an update, the man shared that he returned the gifts and used the money to buy a Nintendo Switch—something that he had really wanted.
The receipts, he said, revealed that the gifts had been purchased three weeks after their conversation about his preferences, deepening his frustration.
The man also acknowledged that the issue went beyond the gifts themselves.
"We definitely do have some marital issues," he added in an update to the post. "We actually will have our first couples therapy in about three weeks. I am really hoping it helps."
The majority of commenters have expressed support for the man, criticizing the wife's choice to disregard his stated preferences.
One viewer wrote, "return what she gave you and start returning the yeti mugs too."
Others shared similar experiences of receiving gifts that felt more about the giver than the recipient.
"I did this to my mum one year. I bought her a jumper in a color I knew she did not like. Some sweets I knew she did not like, a crappy decoration she would not like.
Well what do you know … Next birthday she gifted me stuff I actually liked! Some nail varnishes, body lotion not both bombs, nice sweets. I was made up," one user said.
Another added: "Validation of their gift is the opposite of the goal."
The viral post has continued to generate discussion about the dynamics of gift-giving and communication in relationships, with many users reflecting on the importance of understanding and respecting each other's needs and desires.
"As the couple prepare for therapy, the husband should focus on the emotional impact rather than the specific items," Eisenberg said. "He should come from a place of gratitude.
"For example: 'I know you put thought into the gifts, and I appreciate the effort. I would like us to talk about how we can give gifts that feel meaningful to both of us.'"
Eisenberg says that couples therapy, or a PAIRS class, can help the couple talk about how to intentionally make deposits into each other's emotional bank accounts.
"The conversation is not just about avoiding mismatched gifts—it is about learning how to show up for each other in ways that feel authentic and loving," he added.
Newsweek reached out to u/SoggySwitch7995 for more information via Reddit.
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