A woman who shared her hurt online after planning a party that no one attended has been overwhelmed by the incredibly kind and supportive response she received.
Beka Gillis, 32, is a photographer and wedding content creator living in California who told Newsweek some of her favorite things are "connecting with people and helping others."
In December, Gillis invited 30 girls to a Vision Board Party she was hosting, where attendees would come together to create a visualization of their hopes for the future—but one by one, all her invitees dropped out.
Gillis took to her TikTok account @bekagillis on December 29 where she shared a video of herself speaking on how hurt and disappointed she was, being visibly emotional—and the internet responded in an amazing way.
"I definitely didn't think a video of me crying would go viral, and I certainly did not think that the comments were going to be as supportive and kind as they were," Gillis told Newsweek. "But it made me feel so reassured and emotional to see all the girls on TikTok running to my side."
In her video, viewed over a million times, an emotional Gillis explains she had planned the party six weeks in advance, sent out invitations to 30 girls, acknowledging it is "so hard to make friends and build community when you're in your 30s and in a place you're not from."
Seven girls said they were coming, and Gillis was "so excited," and spent time and money planning the party, creating decorations and a menu, along with gifts for the girls, supplies for the vision board and ceremonial activities for the night.
But on the day of the party, six of the seven said they were no longer able to come. And as a crying Gillis told the camera, "I have all this and no party."
"I don't blame anyone, it's just discouraging and I'm sad. Because I want to build the friendships and community so bad. I put in so much work to do it, and I've been trying for years doing stuff like this and it just doesn't seem to stick."
Gillis explained to Newsweek she regularly takes video diaries of herself "to look back on and see how much I've grown," and began sharing "raw emotions" to TikTok during the pandemic, as it became "super therapeutic for me to just cry, and let it all out and feel less alone."
Usually, nobody would see her TikToks, making this "low risk"—but on this occasion, TikTokers responded in their droves.
One wrote: "I would kill to go to this!!! Also I just want to hug you cause I know how this feels. It's not your fault."
"You're so brave putting yourself out there!!! Half of us feel the same way and don't do anything to fix it. Be proud of yourself," another wrote, while one said Gillis' video had changed them, writing: "I have awful bailing tendencies but I will remember this and try to be better because it's unkind."
Hundreds of commenters suggested Gillis create a new vision board party, but virtually—so all her new online friends could join up. And that's exactly what Gillis is planning to do, this Saturday night on her TikTok account.
"This experience and community we are starting to build, because of this one video already feels so powerful," she told Newsweek.
Her video became so popular that people in her real-life circle saw it and began reaching out, including some of the girls who had been invited to the party, "sending me very kind messages ... sending me voice memos and leaving me the sweetest messages."
She clarified that she "never blamed the girls for life happening for them that day. Nobody maliciously bailed," and many "made it clear that they were super sorry, and wanted to nurture a relationship with me."
American friendships are changing: according to a 1990 study, just three percent of adults reported having no close friends, while 33 percent stated they had 10 or more. The same study in 2021 found 12 percent of people felt they had no close friends, and just 13 percent felt they had 10 or more, according to Statista.
While some in her life think being so raw and vulnerable on the internet is, in Gillis' words, "lame," she believes "we are all living the human experience, we all have our upsets, and I just want people to feel less alone."
"I feel really proud that I put myself out there and decided to throw an in-person Vision Board Party for girls that I didn't know well. And I am even more proud of myself for showing up as me on the internet, and that my video encouraged others."
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