Cathy Ferraro, 50, thought she was living her dream when she married her first love, only to see their relationship unravel under an unexpected pressure, and she told Newsweek how perimenopause nearly destroyed her life.
She said the transitional phase before menopause, when a woman's body begins to make less estrogen, took over her life—and revealed how she got it back.
Ferraro's story began almost as a fairy tale.
"My husband and I have known each other for over 30 years and dated in my late teens," said Ferraro. After divorcing her first husband, she reconnected with her teenage sweetheart and married him in 2018.
"We were inseparable. We traveled often, laughed with each other until our bellies ached, and were absolute best friends," she said. But in October 2018, troubling symptoms began to emerge.
"I started experiencing vertigo," Ferraro said, adding that over the next year, the symptoms multiplied: "A hollow sound and ringing in my ears, swollen lymph nodes, extreme digestive issues, new onset of allergies, extreme fatigue, anxiety and panic attacks."
In a TikTok video, Ferraro described the little-understood life transition that caused her to abruptly file for divorce from her ideal marriage. Her video has gone viral, with 1.8 million views and over 84,000 likes.
Ferraro described the changes as feeling like she was "trapped in someone else's body...It affected my marriage, my business and my personal relationships," she said.
Despite a long and uncontrollable process of detaching herself from family, friends, and even her husband, she was told by doctors that everything was fine. Eventually, she was diagnosed with extreme anxiety disorder and prescribed antidepressants and Xanax—but nothing helped.
What led to her divorce?
In October 2023, a ruptured ovarian cyst finally led Ferraro to a specialist, who confirmed she was in perimenopause. A hysterectomy followed within the next year, but before then, she had already reached a breaking point in her marriage.
"I told my husband I didn't want to share life with him. What I really wanted to say was, 'I don't want to live anymore,'" she said. Her husband packed his things and left, devastated, but trying to make sense of what was happening.
An expert weighs in
According to Dr. Priyanka Borkar, an integrative medicine doctor, Ferraro's actions might have seemed drastic—but not unrealistic—with the impact perimenopause can have on the body and mind.
"Many perimenopausal and menopausal women come to me with similar symptoms of rage, mood swings and emotions they can't understand," Dr. Borkar told Newsweek. It is incredibly difficult when you can no longer recognize yourself or feel like you have no control over what's happening in your body."
Dr. Borkar said that while these mood swings are temporary, they can have long-lasting effects. Thankfully, there are interventions available to help manage perimenopausal symptoms.
"There are numerous options for treatment, yours should be personalized to your needs," Dr. Barkar said. "Hormone therapy can be a good option for individuals with debilitating symptoms. Balancing blood sugar, increasing protein intake and strength training are key to supporting energy levels."
If anything feels off, go to your doctor, she said. "If you're feeling dismissed go to another doctor...You deserve to advocate for yourself and feel better."
A new chapter
Throughout their separation, Ferraro's husband refused to give up.
"He started researching perimenopause and menopause," she said. "He even asked around to see if anyone else's wives were going through this...His fight and perseverance made me believe that even though our marriage wasn't 'perfect,' maybe it was worth another try."
In August 2024, Ferraro and her husband reunited. They even celebrated their anniversary in January 2025. Now, committing to the relationship and managing moods is a daily practice.
"I try to be more aware of my emotions," Ferraro said. "But at times, it's still uncontrollable. We joke about it now—that maybe I just need a nap or some chocolate—but some days are still a struggle."
Despite her constant challenges, Ferraro has alchemized her painful journey into advocacy efforts.
"It saddens me to see so many women suffering in silence and how it affects so many aspects of our daily lives," she said. Her advice to others is clear: "Educate yourself! Talk to other women, research, and don't feel ashamed. Perimenopause almost literally took my life in every way possible, but somehow I made it through."
Ferraro is now dedicated to creating social media content to raise awareness.
"If my story can help one woman who may be feeling the way I was," she said, "then it's worth telling."
English (US) ·