A woman has received support online after sharing why she is against forming a warm relationship with her partner's daughters.
The woman, who goes by u/themothmancommeth on Reddit, took to the platform to detail her rocky rapport with her partner of three years, Tim's daughters. She cited ongoing hostility and misunderstandings about her intentions and Tim's finances.
The post, shared on October 30, has sparked discussion over the woman's decision to refuse a "friendly" relationship with Tim's children.
The 42-year-old woman had described how Tim, 59, became financially strained due to his late wife's multiple battles with cancer. He exhausted his resources, including running up credit card debt, taking a second mortgage, and cashing out his retirement savings to pay for her treatments. Upon his wife's passing, Tim was left near bankruptcy.
Meanwhile, the woman has financial stability due to a trust fund, despite Tim's daughters' initially speculating that she may have been after their father's funds they did not know he had lost.
"He's in banking, I'm a bartender. I know what it looks like," the woman said. "His two daughters thought the same thing, but he's broke as a joke and I've got a trust fund, so actually no."
Despite the woman's initial efforts to join Tim on family visits, his daughters rejected her. Both Christmases spent with them were marked by the daughters ignoring her, monopolizing Tim's time, and preventing interaction between her and their husbands.
After the second holiday, she decided not to join Tim for future Christmas gatherings, a decision Tim reluctantly accepted.
"This year I told Tim not again," she said. "He could go, I would never ask him not to see his daughters for Christmas but I'll stay here."
She leased a luxurious car for him through her brother's dealership to facilitate his travel as his car couldn't make the journey.
The situation escalated when an excited Tim informed his daughters about the new car. Accusations quickly followed, with the daughters wrongly assuming that Tim had squandered their mother's life insurance money. The subsequent family argument unveiled the harsh truths of Tim's money struggles and that he had been living in his girlfriend's home without contributing much financially.
Psychologist Caitlin Slavens says that this deeper rift could provide the opportunity for honest conversation.
"With the air cleared regarding financial matters, Tim should speak candidly with his daughters about his situation without involving his partner to prevent added pressure," she told Newsweek.
Tim's daughters have since suddenly shifted towards amicability, seeking to establish contact and even plan a summer visit, but the woman decided against giving her number to them. She said that while she would remain civil, she had no interest in cultivating a friendship or family relationship after their previous treatment.
Slavens said that the daughters may still be processing their mother's passing and that their grief, coupled with misunderstandings about their father's financial sacrifices, could have fueled their initial hostility.
"The woman need not become close friends with Tim's daughters, but maintaining civility is crucial," Slavens told Newsweek. "Neutral settings for future interactions could benefit all involved, ensuring comfort and respect.
"And recognizing the daughters' grief can contextually frame their behavior, alleviating some of the personal sting and helping the woman process her feelings without harboring resentment."
The Reddit post, which has garnered over 18,000 upvotes, has drawn comments from viewers online. Many have supported the woman and voiced their agreement with her decision to keep her guard up.
"Are they apologetic or are they cozying up to you now knowing you're the meal ticket not their father," one Redditor said. "Even if you choose to forgive, I'd be maintaining a healthy cynicism about their intentions at least for a while."
"Their sudden interest reeks of opportunism, not genuine remorse. Trust has to be earned," a commenter said.
"Yeah, ironic that all of a sudden they [want to] talk to OP because they know she has money," another person wrote.
Newsweek reached out to u/themothmancommeth for comment via Reddit.
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