A woman's response to another woman calling her "skinny" has ignited a heated debate among viewers on Reddit about body image, and how to respond to intrusive comments.
The post, shared by u/heavenstobestie on January 16, has garnered more than 36,000 upvotes to date, spurring widespread discussion and personal anecdotes in the comments. The woman had taken to the platform to recall her frustration at being called "skinny" by an acquaintance at a party. In response, she decided to praise her physique in front of the woman, who is plus-sized.
"Talking about other people's bodies is so mainstream in society and I think we are all impacted by that," Jennifer Vincent, a licensed mental health counselor, told Newsweek. "It can be really painful when someone you care about makes comments to you that make you feel uncomfortable. These comments though likely not intended to be hurtful, can still impact you deeply."
The incident had unfolded at the woman's childhood friend's birthday party, an annual event she said she has long dreaded due to repeated comments about her slim physique.
The acquaintance, named Amanda in the post and described as "overweight," frequently made remarks such as, "You are so skinny!" or "Does your boyfriend care that you don't have curves?"
The woman said that these interactions made her feel self-conscious and reluctant to attend. At the suggestion of her mother, she decided to address Amanda's behavior differently this year.
"My mom told me: 'If Amanda says, 'You are so skinny,' just smile and say, 'Thanks! I love being skinny.' If she looks disappointed, you will know she was trying to insult you,'" the woman wrote.
At the party, Amanda made the expected comment, saying, "God, you are so skinny." Following her mother's advice, the woman simply smiled and replied, "Thanks. I love being skinny."
Amanda's reaction was immediate and shocking—she slapped the woman across the face before bursting into tears and leaving the room. The unexpected escalation left the gathering in stunned silence.
While some attendees checked on the woman behind the Reddit post, others gave her disapproving looks. The next day, the childhood friend who was hosting the party defended Amanda, suggesting that while the slap was unwarranted, the woman had been insensitive by praising her thinness in front of someone plus-sized.
"She told me it is different because being skinny is socially acceptable," the woman added.
"It is important to understand that the woman did not say anything wrong when she said loves being skinny, however it does seem like it came from a place of defensiveness and shame," Vincent said. "Often these type of responses come from a place of our own insecurities.
"This does not excuse Amanda's hurtful behaviors or hitting the woman, I am just speculating that the woman has not previously discussed her feelings with her friend or asked her to stop talking about her body."
The Reddit post has since sparked widespread discussion in the comments about the double standards surrounding body image. Many users supported the woman's actions, arguing that making unsolicited remarks about someone's size, regardless of their body type, is inherently rude.
"Seriously. Overweight person here...It's never okay to comment on someone's appearance unless you are paying them a compliment. Full stop. Do we all not have better things to talk about anyway? She sucks," one viewer said.
Another added: "My rule is to only compliment people for things about their appearance that they chose. Nice nails, cool hair cut, cute clothes. I do not mention physical traits unless it's someone who I am really close with and who I know is comfortable with that. I have not had any issues while following that rule."
"Letting go of friendships that do not serve us is essential for growth. OP deserves friends who uplift, not tear down. Time to prioritize self-respect," a third viewer said.
Vincent says that it is key for each woman involved to remember the importance of boundaries, as it does not sound like they had been communicated kindly in this encounter.
"Does the woman actually like being skinny? It is okay if she does but it is important to understand that part of her so that she can understand not only about herself but how to communicate to her friend," the therapist said. "Setting boundaries does not have to be rude but direct and kind is key."
Newsweek reached out to u/heavenstobestie for more information via Reddit.
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