A bride-to-be has been backed online for angering her mother by "rejecting" all of her stepfather's attempts to be involved in her upcoming wedding.
The 26-year-old woman and original poster (OP), Reddit user AnyLittleBride989, shared on r/AITAH, explaining that her parents had divorced when she was two years old and that her mother remarried a few years later.
In her post, she noted that despite facing pressure as kids to consider their stepdad their "new dad", the OP and her older brother "resisted" and she had "never really got close" to him.
Although the OP's mom and stepdad weren't invited to her brother's wedding after he cut them off, she had intended on having them in attendance on her big day.
That is, until her stepdad's efforts to take on "father of the bride" duties—and her mom's reaction after she repeatedly said no—made her question her decision.
"My stepdad wanted to walk me down the aisle or do the father-daughter dance," the OP, wrote. "I told him I was doing both with Dad, alone.
"He offered to pay for the wedding if I'd let him do it. I said no and he bargained for just one of them and he'd still pay. I said no. This was all done via text.
"When Mom found out I had rejected all his attempts, she texted me that I wasn't showing him respect and I could've had a much worse stepdad and I never fully appreciated what a great man he is and all the effort he put into trying to be our dad.
"That actually did end in a fight because I told her they went about it wrong."
In the aftermath of these exchanges, the OP has been left with her head "buzzing and a lot of doubt", leading her to seek outside verdicts on her refusal and ask for some advice.
In response, many of the users who weighed in not only supported her for holding her ground against her stepfather and mother, but encouraged her to officially remove them from the guest list.
One user noted, "Respecting someone as a person doesn't mean you owe them parental titles or roles in your life. It's your wedding, and you should feel comfortable and happy with who is involved and how.
"It's unfair of them to try to buy their way into a role that has significant emotional meaning to you."
"I would rescind their invitation"
A second urged the OP to follow her brother's lead: "Time to go NC [no contact] with them."
Meanwhile, a third reassuringly wrote, "You have no obligation to include them in the wedding at all. You are generously inviting them to attend. At this point, I would say that they don't even deserve that."
A fourth similarly commented: "You were gracious enough to give them an inch and they try to take a mile! I would rescind their invitation."
Wedding Woes
According to wedding experts at The Knot, there are "endless" reasons for not inviting a relative to your wedding, including them being "controlling" or having a recent "falling out" with them.
When it comes to telling a given family member they aren't invited, Jade Ladson—founder of J. Ladson Weddings—suggested that brides and grooms should lead with honesty.
"Be honest and let them know your concerns and that you feel like it just wouldn't be a good idea based on any of [your] reasons," Ladson told The Knot.
In a related example of wedding drama, Newsweek also just covered how a different woman's decision to reject her stepdad's plans to be part of her wedding also sparked a heated discussion online.
Newsweek contacted the OP for comment via Reddit.
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