Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" Isn't the Feminist Anthem We Thought

In the early aughts heyday of VH1's "Top 20 Video Countdown," Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" was an obvious standout. The lyrics and video — which channeled feminine rage aimed at a soon-to-be ex-boyfriend pursuing extra-relational affairs — were catnip for hormonal, angsty tweens like myself who were looking for any license to rave and rant. The image of a beautiful blonde doing damage with a baseball bat scratched an important itch in our still-forming prefrontal cortices.

The hit long outlasted our puberty, though, establishing itself as a karaoke classic across demographics — not just with your typical country fans. Twenty years after the song's release, it will never not be cathartic to lock eyes with a stranger across the bar as you each pantomime shoving a set of keys into the side of a "pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive."

But now that Underwood has agreed to sing "America the Beautiful" at Donald Trump's presidential inauguration next week, I'm revisiting the 2006 hit with fresh ears — and noticing for the first time its many pitfalls that I glossed over as an impressionable youth.

With a closer listen, it's clear now that "Before He Cheats" is no feminist anthem, despite the righteous blood-boiling it incited in a generation of young fans. In it, Underwood calls another woman "white trash" and a "tramp." She puts that same woman down because she's partial to fruity drinks and "can't shoot whiskey." And she reserves all her anger for her boyfriend's philandering instead of his potentially date-raping the woman he's intentionally getting drunk. If this song were an essay, a gender studies professor would probably give it an F.

I was never all that interested in Underwood's other music ("Jesus, Take the Wheel" wasn't in the rotation in my secular Jewish household), but as a reformed "American Idol" obsessive, a part of me feels like I grew up with Underwood. And while it's not exactly a surprise that Underwood will perform at the inauguration, it's more than a little ironic that the singer behind the song that was once a source of empowerment for young women has aligned herself with the most openly and punitively misogynistic leader of this country in its long, misogynistic history.

Much of what resonated with this song's millions of fans was Underwood's tempting message for any woman who's been spurned: that you should go out and exact your violent revenge. But generations of social revolutionaries have warned us time and again that resorting to the tools of the oppressor will not lead to our liberation.

The raw anger that animates the song is compelling, but its violent message didn't move the needle much at all. With Trump's impending inauguration, I'm ready to let go of "Before He Cheats" and all the white women who trumpet a hollow version of empowerment that does little but glorify violence. Whether it's supporting arming teachers with guns instead of defunding the NRA, supplying women with pepper spray instead of dismantling rape culture, or, yes, even slashing the tires of the scumbag who cheated on you, women who attempt faux salvation and then vote to uphold the patriarchal institutions proudly burning our planet and squandering our reproductive and gender-affirming care are a disappointment.

There's a lot for women to be angry about, and music will always be a powerful way to express that pain. Plus, women and queer people can always use more songs to scream-sing at bars — songs that are a musical middle finger to the patriarchy and a declaration of self-actualization.

But this song is ultimately just an invitation to pay back a fraction of the pain heaped upon you by a man by stooping to his level. In that way, it was always a blueprint for the same petty politics for which Trump has become known.

Instead of "Before He Cheats," there are plenty of non-fascist bangers to supplement the need for raging at an ex, from Chappell Roan's "My Kink Is Karma" to SZA's "Smoking on my Ex Pack" and Alanis Morisette's "You Oughta Know," to name just a few. But if we can't bring ourselves to axe Underwood from our karaoke lists, maybe we could at least change the lyrics to "before he cheats (lies, incites an insurrection, etc.)." Though that's hardly got the same ring to it.

Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) is the associate editor at PS Balance. In her seven years as a reporter, her beats have spanned the lifestyle spectrum; she's covered arts and culture for The Boston Globe, sex and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and food, climate, and farming for Ambrook Research.