Choreographer and dancer Drea Kelly opened up about her tumultuous marriage to disgraced R&B singer R. Kelly in an emotional interview and defended her decision to keep his last name.
“Here’s the real gag, boo, if my name wasn’t Kelly you wouldn’t even care,” said Drea defiantly.
Source: Michael Tullberg / Getty
The 50-year-old star has long faced criticism from people questioning why she stayed with the music icon and kept his last name after enduring years of abuse and assault.
In a candid interview with Carlos King on Tuesday, Drea finally addressed the criticism.
Having married R. Kelly in 1996 and filed for divorce in 2006, Drea urged others to stop judging her decisions, explaining that women in her situation often don’t fully recognize the dynamics of an abusive relationship, especially if they come from a broken or traumatic family background. Through tears, the star revealed that she had experienced abuse from both her mother and grandfather, offering insight into the complex emotional factors that influenced her choices.
“A cunning man..he’s trying to get your defenses down. He wants to find out where that bruise is on you,” Drea told Carlos at the 22 minute mark. “For him, he knew my grandfather was abusive, my mother was abusive.”
When Drea met Kelly at the age of 19, she explained that they both formed a “kindredship” due to their histories with abusive family members. Kelly grew up in an abusive household and also faced challenges with illiteracy. What she thought would bring them closer was the very thing that Kelly used to gain control and fear over her, the star claimed.
Then, Drea sent a big FU to all of the people who have judged her for staying with the R&B legend over the years.
“The way I grew up was to not love myself, to not think I’m worthy and to feel that there’s no escape from this ’cause not only is it my grandfather, it’s my mother. Now, it’s my husband,” she continued.
“So, that’s why I’m in the place that I am today. F***] y’all with a capital F because you have no idea what it’s like to go from being abused to an abused 19-year-old with a man who has this much power and you’re being abused by him and you have nowhere to go and no money to even do it with.”
Using Cassie’s 2023 assault case against Sean “Diddy” Combs as an example, Drea explained that abusers—especially high-profile men with abusive tendencies — often exploit their victims, particularly when they are young because they lack life experience, making them more vulnerable to manipulation.
“Most women in abusive relationships are young when they meet their abusers. What do you know about life? And then you meet this man in a position of power and people don’t understand it’s just not a Cassie going against Puff—the web is so so big,” she shared. “It’s not just him. You got to think if [his] homeboy will knock somebody out in a club with everybody watching, what will he do to me in secret? People don’t think about that. You have the money to make me disappear….”
Why Did Drea Kelly Keep Her Ex-Husband’s Last Name?
Despite enduring years of abuse at the hands of the “Step in the Name of Love” hitmaker, Drea chose to keep Kelly’s last name, a decision that has sparked ongoing criticism. Some have drawn comparisons to Tina Turner’s relationship with Ike Turner, questioning why Drea kept the R&B legend’s surname. Others have argued that, unlike Tina, Drea didn’t “bring anything to the table” to earn the right to carry it, totally dismissing the abuse she suffered.
“You don’t even know what my profession is, and at the end of the day, what do I bring to the table if I am the table?,” Drea clapped back further along in her interview with King.
In the 1990s, the choreographer auditioned to be a backup dancer for Kelly and soon became an integral part of his team, contributing significantly to the choreography for the Grammy-award-winning singer’s tours, music videos, and live performances. Drea also raised three children with the convicted star: Robert Jr., 22, Jaah, 24, and Joann, 26.
“I brought a whole womb. I birthed children, so for women to even say something like that is sad to me…and because you can’t clock what I do, because you haven’t done your research, you think it’s okay to go on the internet and say, ‘she don’t do nothing, Tina Turner did something,’ the only difference between me and Tina Turner is she sang on the stage with Ike, I danced on one with Robert,” she said.
Doubling down on her disdain for naysayers who have tried to disparage her choice, Drea told King that she didn’t “give a f**ck” about what people thought of her decision to keep Kelly’s last name.
“At the end of the day, I earned this name in blood, sweat and tears. It’s my kids’ name…when all the sh*t hit the fan, how would you feel if your name is Brown and your kids name is Brown, and your family goes through something, and you tell your kids, ‘Oop! You a Brown by yourself, I’m out!’ No, if my kids gotta go through it as Kelly, they mama going through it as Kelly.”
Keeping the Chicago-bred singer’s surname has come with a few perks, too.
“The last name Kelly gets 20/20 to follow me, the last name Kelly gets me on CNN to talk about domestic violence awareness and be an advocate,” she explained. “The last name Kelly allowed me to go on military bases and talk about abuse…and here’s the real gag; Boo, if my name wasn’t Kelly you wouldn’t even care…’cuz Ms. Jones is going through the same thing I’m going through right now, Ms. White is going through it, Ms. Anderson is going through it, but y’all don’t care about it, y’all not on her page commenting, you’re not trying to be an advocate, you’re being nosey. You know why? Because my last name is Kelly.”
Drea revealed that she found the strength to leave Kelly after he became verbally abusive toward their daughter Joann during a family trip to Miami. She filed for divorce in 2006, and the divorce was finalized in 2009, according to Essence.
In 2023, R. Kelly was sentenced to 30 years in prison after being convicted in 2021 on charges including racketeering, sexual exploitation of children, and forced labor.
Watch Drea Kelly’s full interview with Carlos King below. Thoughts?
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