How to Find Your Makeup Shade IRL When You're An Introvert

If you're anything like me, you've probably paced around an Ulta Beauty, hoping to look like you know exactly what you're doing while secretly spiraling inside. Most of the time, I spend more energy figuring out if I can muster up the courage to ask for help than actually trying on shades. Because of my ADHD, I easily become overstimulated, and the next thing you know, I'm purchasing six concealers because I'm too shy to ask for help.

It's a whole vibe of pretending to browse while low-key hoping no one notices how out of place I feel. Sound familiar? Trying to discern your foundation or concealer shade without asking for help is a skill to develop. Because, let's be honest: asking for help when you're shy, neurodivergent (or neuro-spicy, as I like to call it), or just feeling out of place can feel like climbing Mt. Everest in heels. Throw in that I'm a dude in a space that doesn't always feel made for me, and yeah . . . I get it.

The good news? Finding your perfect concealer or foundation shade doesn't have to be a social marathon. Whether you're going full lone wolf or dipping a toe into asking for a little help, I've discovered plenty of hacks in my job as a beauty professional to make shade-matching way less stressful. Let's do this.

How to Find Your Shade Match When You're Shy

1. Know Your Undertone

Before you even hit the aisles, let's calculate your skin's undertone together. Knowing whether you're cool, warm, or neutral makes shade-matching so much easier — like skipping to a game's last level. But if you're reading this thinking, "You're already going too fast. What the heck is an undertone?" Don't worry, I got you.

An undertone is a subtle hue beneath the surface of your skin — cool (pink, red, or bluish), warm (golden or yellow), or neutral (a mix of both). Knowing your undertone helps you select the most complementary makeup shades, making the whole shade-matching process easier and more accurate.

Here's the move: Examine the veins on your wrist in clear, bright light. If they look blue or purple, you're probably cool-toned. If they look greenish, you're warm-toned. If you can't really tell, you're likely neutral. Another trick? Hold gold and silver jewelry against your skin. You're warm-toned if gold makes your skin glow and look more vibrant. If silver enhances your complexion, you're cool-toned. If both look equally flattering, you're likely neutral. Boom. Now, you know your starting point.

2. Find a Quiet Corner With Good Light

You know those fluorescent store lights that make you look like the Ghost of Skin-Care Mistakes Past? Yeah, don't trust them. Natural light is golden. To find it, wander toward the front of the store, where the windows permit some sunlight. It's quieter there — and the lighting is chef's kiss.

Grab a few foundation testers that resemble your skin tone: I go for one a little brighter and one a little deeper. Swipe them on the back of your hand or near your jawline. Your hands are typically a deeper shade than the skin on your face, so hold your hand next to your face after swiping to see if it's a match. Then, use your phone camera as your guide, and look for the shade that disappears into your skin — that's the one. If you're feeling extra, snap a pic for reference. Trust me, your phone will tell the truth.

3. Stick to Brands and Products That Keep It Simple

Some brands make shade matching feel like you're decoding a secret message, but others keep it real with easy-to-understand labels. Stick to brands that describe what you're getting — the below are your wingmen for stress-free shopping.

4. Remember, Help Is There If You Want It

Real talk: I know asking for help can feel like a lot — especially if you're shy or just don't want to deal with small talk. But here's the thing: the employees at Ulta Beauty (or Sephora, or your favorite beauty store) are nice. Seriously. They're not there to judge you — they're there to help, and most of them are trained to match like pros. If you feel up to it, even a simple "Hey, can you help me find my shade?" will do the trick. You don't have to explain yourself, and I promise they've got your back.

If asking feels like too much, that's OK, too. You've still got my advice.

Final Thought: You're Doing Amazing, Sweetie

Listen, shopping for makeup can feel like a lot, especially when you're trying to do it alone, or you feel out of place. But whether you're swatching in sunlight, snapping selfies, or braving a quick convo with a beauty advisor, remember this: you're doing great. Beauty is supposed to be fun, not stressful, so take a breath, give yourself some credit, and do what feels right for you.

And hey, if you ever see me hiding in the corner of Ulta Beauty with foundation swatches all over my hand, come say hi. We'll cheer each other on.

Big hug,

David

From the DMs is a monthly column where professional hairstylist David Lopez answers your most pressing beauty questions. Have a topic you want addressed? Drop him a message on Instagram or email him at FromtheDMswithDavid@davidlopezbeauty.com, and let's keep the conversation going. By submitting a question, you agree to our Submission Terms.