If the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Did a Holiday Special, This Is What It Would Look Like

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The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives hit Hulu fans and viewers by storm. Who knew a group of good-looking, semi-successful Mormon swingers would captivate us this summer? But the MomTok group did just that thanks to their over-the-top drama and embellishment of the word swinging. In retrospect, only one of the influencers, Taylor Frankie Paul, was a part of the sex group, while the other presumably watched from the wings. But that is a horse of a different color. As Santa readies his sleigh, I can’t help but wonder what these women would slap together for a holiday-themed reel.

Mean Girls has nothing on the Secret Lives of Mormon of Wives

One thing is certain: if the ladies decided to perform as a group, it would be 100 percent the talent show number from Mean Girls. In April 2004, moviegoers were gifted the movie, and it quickly became a cult classic. The premise was about a new girl who had moved to town and wiggled her way into the popular girl’s group. This wasn’t an out-of-the-world premise to begin with, as I had grown up in the early 2000s, and I saw this happen a lot. In fact, Whitney Leavitt could have easily been the Regina George of the group.

Between her plotting against Taylor and snide comments, she was hard to stomach. However, I imagine she would have been the first one to put on a sexy Santa costume in honor of the movie. The Utah Mormon ladies would have had the choreography nailed down as they danced to Jingle Bell Rock. However, I reckon that Mayci Neeley might come out on top as the number came to an end. The winter talent show at North Shore High School will always be infamous, but the plastics might have a challenge on their hands if the moms ever decide to perform the fun jingle.

Even Santa would watch the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

I am a sucker for traditional holiday music. Give me White Christmas any day. But Ariana Grande snuck in with her original song, Santa Tell Me. With her airy voice and suggestive dancing, it is easy to see the gang from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives trying to make a popular reel for the holiday season. The song came out ten years ago and was an instant holiday classic. The music video starts with Ariana waking up in her luxury bed. Almost immediately, I am flashed to an image of Taylor, Whitney, Mayci, and the rest of the women having a slumber party where they too would be waking up in bed.

I would have the cast wearing matching thermal PJs and possibly starting a pillow fight. That feels very on-brand for them. Like Ariana, the girls could wear matching furry hats and dance around as they try to tell Santa what they want for Christmas. The music video’s setting is right up the ladies’ alley, complete with a flowing staircase where they can show off their best sides. I’m sure Santa and his elves would be very impressed.

Santa needs to check his list twice

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives stars would be doing themselves a disservice if they didn’t do their own version of Santa Baby. Originally performed by the first Cat Woman, Ertha Kitt, the ladies would make their take extra steamy. Even though they are Mormons, the cast made sure to point out that they enjoy wearing sexy attire. The lead on this song should be Jennifer Affleck. As fans know, she had one hell of a year with her controlling husband. If I were Jennifer, I would ask for the Sable ‘54 convertible, the yacht, and a second season on Hulu. There is no doubt in my mind that Jennifer has been an angel all year.

Knowing Jennifer, she would happily wear her temple garments under her costume just to ensure she is on the nice list. Each of the ladies’ TikTok accounts features them in trending posts. And it isn’t hard to picture Jennifer and the gang developing an extremely elaborate plan for this song. As we know it is all about the views when it comes to the MomTok group. At least the holiday-themed reels would be a little more enjoyable than their usual cheesy bits.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives can be streamed on Hulu.

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