A millennial's theory on the modern dating scene has gone viral as he lamented how "seriously" people appear to take becoming official.
The man, who posts to TikTok under the name @zudlow and describes himself as a millennial in his bio, shared a post to his account on November 26 that has racked up over 100,000 likes, in which he pleaded: "Stop acting like dating is marriage."
He asked if anyone remembered how, in the 1990s and early 2000s, "dating was not that serious", and people would introduce a boyfriend or girlfriend they had been with for only a few weeks to friends and family.
"And everyone would just go with it, fully aware ... we'd probably never see them again."
Calling things like a "situationship" and the "talking stage" or choosing not to use labels "ridiculous," he urged people to "date, and if it doesn't work out just break up, there's no need to freak out because we use the wrong words."
Newsweek has contacted @zudlow on TikTok and Instagram for comment on this story.
Newsweek spoke to modern-day etiquette and dating expert Genevieve Dreizen of Fresh Starts Registry, who said people have "understandably become more cautious about commitment—or the lack of it," thanks to the rise of app-based dating.
"The sheer availability of potential partners at your fingertips creates a dynamic where many now seek clearer, more explicit commitments," she said.
In the time of the 1990s and 2000s that Zudlow referenced, Dreizen pointed out that if someone was at home, "you could assume they weren't meeting someone new."
Now, however, "you might worry they're chatting with someone else during a quick bathroom break! At the same time, the overwhelming number of options can make others hesitant to commit, driven by a 'grass is always greener' mentality or the fear of missing out on something better."
Dr Marisa T Cohen, dating and relationship expert at dating app Hily, said people "may be hesitant to use dating labels for fear that it changes the nature of the relationship."
"It's not quite as simple as boiling it down to people just being afraid to commit," she said, suggesting "the intentional period before committing can be healthy in many cases as a person is determining if they are compatible with their potential partner, and if the relationship is healthy enough to commit to."
That said, it is "important to remember that dating is just a process of getting to know new people, so it should be taken with ease. Keep it fun and enjoyable."
Revenue from the online dating market in the United States is projected to reach a whopping $1.43 billion dollars in 2025 and could have a base of 67.2 million users by 2029, according to Statista. The former stigma around online dating has vanished, and many single people choose to scour the wide pool of potential partners online before meeting someone in person.
TikTok users responded to Zudlow's video in their droves, with hundreds adding their own theories.
One said: "Dating used to be circled around compatibility, not commitment," which Zudlow said was "spot on."
"From what I see, dating has become the new marriage and situationships the new dating," another suggested.
One said: "People act like someone calling u their gf/bf means proposal like what?" as another pleaded: "Can't we bring this back? Casual dating would heal the world!"
And as one user put it: "It's somehow gotten more serious and less serious in all the wrong ways at the same time."
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