The thought of living with your sibling at an older age might make some people recoil in horror, but not for two sisters in Tulsa.
Jill and Marcy Clements grew up in Oklahoma but while Marcy stayed in her home state, Jill spent most of her adult life in California. Now aged 68 and 72, the two are living together again in Heartwood Commons, a cohousing community in Oklahoma.
They each have their own separate, independent homes with a common house where residents can come together for meals, activities and community conversation—a set up that reminds Marcy of college.
"We had a woman visit just the other day and she's like, I need powdered sage. She put that out on a text and another woman who was at the store at that moment read it and asked, what kind do you want? She hand-delivered it like three doors away and we went to a party last night and ate what they cooked, so it's almost like a dormitory," Marcy said.
Cohousing, which originated in Denmark, is a model of living that clusters private homes around shared spaces like gardens, kitchens and common rooms. In the U.S., there are more than 160 established cohousing communities, with Heartwood Commons one of the first to be built in Tulsa.
Jill moved to southern California at 25 where she continued her career as a social worker and stayed for 40 years.
While she told Newsweek that she was enjoying retired life, the pandemic served as a turning point. "I survived COVID and really felt the extreme feeling of isolation and loneliness. So when that was over, it was time to come back to Tulsa. It was just a matter of finding the kind of living condition that I wanted," Jill said.
It took a while to find somewhere suitable. With the help of her sister, she looked at 32 houses. Heartwood Commons was under construction at the time (where Marcy had been living since December 2018) but it was a eureka moment for the youngest Clements sister.
"What made her decide was obviously this beautiful, nice neighborhood with community. She had brought her checkbook and just signed on, so we were very happy to know that all the sisters would be back in Oklahoma," Marcy said.
Growing up, the sisters told Newsweek that their mothers had enforced the message that they needed to be independent and able to support themselves. Marcy was determined to become a successful artist and while she married at 33, she later divorced and spent most of her life as a single person.
Both child-free by choice, they were reminded that not having children means there'll be no one to take care of them in old age. While Marcy admitted that she has felt lonely at times, she has no regrets.
"That's why we moved into cohousing so that we could take care of each other. That's kind of the simple answer: no husband, no children, it's up to me and I've got my sister and then we've got the third sister just up the street. We're all together again, each doing our separate things and yet we're our safety net for each other," she said.
Residents at Heartwood Commons come together for shared dinners, group yoga, art projects and book clubs. There are 36 condos, separate car garages and one bigger house that serves as the community's center. Friends and family can even come and visit where they can stay in one of two guest rooms for $10 a night.
"There's something for everyone. We work and play together. We're in charge, we make the rules," said Marcy.
It's also a self-governing community which creates their own policies and procedures with each member playing to their strengths. With decades of experience as an art director, graphic designer, technical illustrator and commercial artist under her belt, Marcy has volunteered to paint 72 doorframes as part of a group decision to change the original architects' design.
Jill was voted as homeowners' association (HOA) president and is on a team that is responsible for facilitation. The HOA allows members of the community to take autonomy on what's important to them and how they should spend the money.
"These were built without any profit to them, so it's really the boomers not ready to give up control of their lives and how they live," said Marcy.
When residents walk through the neighborhood, it's not unusual for members of the community to catch up and find out what's new or whether they need any help. The sisters shared an example where one resident had undergone surgery. Members of the community sprang into action, walking her dog, loaning walkers and installing mobility equipment for the bathroom.
True neighborliness really is at the heart of this successful community. For the Clements sisters, living together again makes sense on every level.
"We've all learned with COVID how lonely it is, and that isolation kills, so this is a positive situation for us. To have each other and to know that you're safe," said Marcy.
"After COVID, I really wanted to give back to Tulsa and this was this was my answer. I had put it out to the universe and the spirits were there to help me get back," Jill said.
English (US) ·