Ruby Franke’s daughter opens up further about her mother’s abuse

Shari Franke, the eldest daughter of disgraced mommy blogger and convicted child abuser Ruby Franke, is opening up about the child abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother.

Shari Franke’s memoir, The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom, was released Tuesday by Simon & Schuster, revealing more about the horrific abuse she suffered from what she describes as a “malignant narcissist.”

As she does the press rounds for her book, Shari has shared whether she could ever forgive her mom.

“Forgiveness is something I’ve had to study a lot and kind of think about what it means,” she told Good Morning America (GMA) earlier this week. “But for me, forgiveness would look like not letting that consume every moment of my life.”

In 2023, Ruby Franke pleaded guilty to four counts of child abuse and received four separate prison sentences of one to 15 years each. Jodi Hildebrandt, her business partner, received the same sentence.

Ruby built a huge following on YouTube over the years, documenting her family’s life on her blog 8 Passengers.

Her mommy blogging empire began to crumble in August 2023, after her 12-year-old son escaped through the window of Hildebrandt’s house and sought help from a neighbour, begging for food and water. When emergency responders found him, he was injured, starved and had duct tape on his wrists and ankles covering up wounds.

Her 10-year-old daughter was also found in a similar condition when police searched the home.

On GMA, Shari said she was subjected to abuse starting around the age of five or six, when her mother would occasionally slap her or slam her hand down on a surface.

She said the abuse escalated once her mother met Hildebrandt, a former sex therapist and founder of the religious online platform ConneXions.

“I was like, oh, Jodi, I don’t like her, but maybe this is one good thing that’s come from it, is my (mom’s) not yelling, she’s not hitting us anymore,” Shari said. “But it did become more psychological. And in a way, that was more damaging to me.”

Shari said things took a turn for the worse when, in 2022, her parents split up and Hildebrandt moved into the family home, describing it as “weird vibes.”

“I don’t think it’s normal at all that a therapist would move into her client’s home,” she told GMA. “I was moving out to college, I hadn’t even left the house yet, and she is in my room and in my bed.”

Shari said that her mother was also “secretive” about her relationship with Hildebrandt and while she “never saw anything specific” to indicate a romance between the pair, she writes in the memoir that she witnessed encounters and messages between them that suggested their relationship “had spilled over into the physical.”

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Shari has said in the past she tried to report to the authorities what was happening to her and her siblings for years.

Last October, she spoke to lawmakers on Utah’s Business and Labor Interim Committee, advocating for more protections for child influencers and describing what went on behind the camera while filming content for her mom’s YouTube channel.

She noted that family vlogging is different from a normal, family-run business, as “all the children are employees,” and almost always the “stars” of their parents’ social media content.

“There is no such thing as a moral or ethical family vlogger,” she said, adding that while she was often paid for her work, the money was usually in the form of a bribe.

“For example, we’d be rewarded $100 or (a) shopping trip if we filmed a particularly embarrassing moment or an exciting event in our lives.”

“…Going on vacation was expected to be payment enough because most kids don’t get to go on regular and expensive trips,” she continued, adding that “the child’s labour is actually what paid for the vacation or trip.”

Now, Shari says she doesn’t think her mother can “fully comprehend the guilt” of the abuses she inflicted on her kids, but told GMA she thinks Ruby is “as sorry as she can be.”

“Sometimes I’ll see myself in the mirror and I’m like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I look like her’ or ‘I sound like her,’” she said. “But I don’t want to be anything like her.”

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If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or is involved in an abusive situation, please visit the Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime for help. They are also reachable toll-free at 1-877-232-2610.