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Amber Tamblyn started her Hollywood career as an on General Hospital in the mid-90s, and she's just now revealing that she underwent ear-pinning surgery before even becoming a teenager.
In an essay authored by Tamblyn, 41, for The New York Times published on Sunday, October 20, she wrote, "As a little girl, I had ears that stuck out like butterfly wings. Some kids at my school in Los Angeles would make fun of them, and I'd often stare at myself in the mirror wishing my ears would lay flat against my head."
Later in the essay, the Primetime Emmy Award winner explains her and her parent's feelings surrounding the decision to have the procedure done. "I opted to undergo ear-pinning surgery, a decision I've never made public until now. For years, my parents watched my struggle with private shame, though they understood I was a tough kid who could handle it," she wrote.
Tamblyn was only 11 when she was cast as Emily Quartermaine on the ABC show, and she expanded on her experience in the essay and said "Once I knew millions of people all over the world would be judging me on their television screens, not just on a playground, that knowledge changed everything for me."
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer guest star also wrote that it felt like the surgery was similar to "choosing a weapon [she] could wield in self-defense against [her] own disposability," and later wrote, "It showed the world that I understood the assignment of assimilation—that I could do whatever it took to fit in, never stand out, the way my ears once did." The star added that she always felt that the "performance of youthfulness was reinforced constantly" as an actress.
"Would I be less happy if I had fought against the desire to get my ears pinned back, if they still stuck out today?" she questioned herself in the text. She answered and said, "I don't know — but I do think about it often, and about my willingness to align myself with the industry's expectations."
Later in the text, Tamblyn specifies that she is not against plastic surgery and admits that she's "also not immune to wanting to feel beautiful and desired, and indulging in that need. I don't apologize for what I've done, or for what I haven't."