All Americans are hoping for a happy, healthy, and harmonious Thanksgiving. So if you're a guest at someone else's home for the big day, you've got to be on your best behavior—lest you upset your generous hosts.
Newsweek asked some of America's top etiquette experts: What is the biggest faux pas a Thanksgiving guest can commit? This is what they told us.
Lisa Richey, Founder of Manners to Go
As a guest, the biggest Thanksgiving faux pas is steering the conversation toward politics. Thanksgiving is about family, gratitude, and joy—a time to celebrate connection, not controversy.
Instead, have meaningful and upbeat discussions: Ask about recent travels, books, new jobs, or exciting plans.
Create curiosity and share laughter. Save polarizing topics for another day and focus on what truly matters—cherished moments and lively, positive conversation around the table.
Toni Dupree, CEO, Etiquette & Style by Dupree
The biggest Thanksgiving faux pas is bringing uninvited guests to the dinner. A gracious host may not turn them away, doing so is both disrespectful and inconsiderate.
The host has carefully planned and prepared for a specific number of guests, and unexpected additions can disrupt their efforts.
Always seek permission well in advance if you'd like to include someone, it's a simple act of courtesy that honors the host's planning and hospitality.
Patricia Rossi, Etiquette Coach, Author and Speaker
Being negative instead of being a festive part of the day.
Saying rude things: "You ballooned up since last year, you might want to back away from the buffet! Did you change your hair color? What exactly do you call that shade?"
Bringing up old grievances, when it's better to leave those bones buried with the turkey carcass.
Don't arrive empty-handed, but that doesn't mean you can bring your 60-pound St. Bernard unannounced, even though we all probably do need an emotional support animal when spending time with extended family.
Being over zealous with your spritzing and showing up smelling like the entire perfume/ cologne counter from Macy's. Causing your family and friends' eyes and noses to sting and burn.
Of course bringing up politics, when the host has asked for the day to be a no-politics zone.
Acting crazy if your football team is trailing. I'm quite sure that player/team isn't contributing to your 401k, it's just a game so pipe down and enjoy the game.
Announcing you are a vegetarian, fruitarian, allergic to gluten etc., your new diet etc. It's the one day of the year that all diets, or talk of diets, is off limits. If you are a vegetarian or fruitarian, bring something to share with everyone, a veggie lasagne etc.
Come with upbeat fun topical things to talk about other than your little Johnny being gifted. Things like your travels, new hobbies, new and upcoming adventures, work etc.
Pamela Eyring, President, The Protocol School of Washington
Rudeness at the table, especially through poor conversation skills, is the biggest faux pas for everyone involved.
Interrupting others, monopolizing the conversation, or steering discussions toward controversial or inappropriate topics—such as politics, religion, or personal critiques—can quickly sour the atmosphere.
Complaining about the food, comparing it to other meals, or ignoring efforts made by the host also comes across as disrespectful and unappreciative.
A Thanksgiving table is a space for gratitude and connection, so practicing active listening, showing genuine interest in others, and keeping the conversation light and inclusive are essential to being a gracious guest. Keep your mindset positive!
You can show additional appreciation by helping the host clear the table, offering to help with dishes, and not rushing to leave as soon as dinner is over.
Think about the Griswald's Christmas Vacation movie when Uncle Eddie's wife overcooks the turkey...and Clark, along with all the other family members, eats it without complaining as the dried turkey skin gets stuck in their throat.
Thomas P. Farley, AKA "Mister Manners"; Keynote Speaker and Television Commentator
Of all the holidays we mark annually, for many Americans, Thanksgiving seems to have acquired an unfortunate sense of dread.
Family members worry about locking horns with their political opposites or facing uncomfortable questions such as "Don't you two ever plan on getting married?" or "Have you put on weight?"
For some, the solution is to retire to the den and turn on a football game. For others, it may be to skip the gathering altogether.
If we are to embrace the true spirit of the celebration, it's not about intrusive questions. It's about coming together over a meal and giving thanks for our many blessings.
I believe that if more family members and friends looked at Thanksgiving as an opportunity to reconnect with relatives near and distant and to be the best version of ourselves while doing so, we would have far better odds at bringing out the best in others, too.
And in so doing, we would have an occasion for which everyone could truly and authentically feel grateful.
Jacqueline Whitmore, Founder, The Protocol School of Palm Beach
1. Drinking too much: If alcohol is served, and even if you bring your own, don't overindulge and make a fool of yourself. Remember the old adage: "Loose lips sink ships."
2. Arriving empty-handed: It's considered good etiquette to bring something for the host, whether it's a dish, dessert, or even a bottle of wine. (But don't expect the host to open your wine. It's considered a gift.) Always ask: "May I bring something?"
3. Not offering to help: After the meal, it's polite to offer assistance with cleaning up or serving. Your willingness to help is seen as a sign of appreciation for the host's hard work.
4. Discussing controversial topics: Tensions can run high during Thanksgiving dinners, especially when family is involved. Bringing up sensitive subjects like politics (especially during an election season), the cost of things, or religion can lead to uncomfortable conversations. Be prepared to talk about light-hearted subjects like holiday memories, food, and travel.
5. Being late: Arriving late can disrupt the flow of the gathering and may cause the host unnecessary stress. It's courteous to arrive on time, or at least to communicate if you're running late. And NEVER surprise the host by bringing an uninvited guest without first asking permission.
Lisa Gaché, Founder & CEO, Beverley Hill Manners
The biggest faux pas you can commit as a Thanksgiving guest is making everything about you—basically becoming the dreaded "Thanksgiving Narcissist."
This is the tiresome guest who texts the host a paragraph of dietary preferences then acts upset when there isn't a special gluten-free, sugar-free version of every dish.
They press the host for the guest list to determine the event's social value before committing to attend.
When told it's a formal gathering, they begrudgingly consent while trying to convince you that everyone would really rather come in their Uggs and comfy sweatpants.
By the time they finish expressing their demands, the host is already regretting the invitation!
The role of a guest at Thanksgiving (or frankly anytime) is to contribute to the warmth of the gathering, not drain it.
A gracious guest arrives grateful for the invitation, bringing their best self: sharing entertaining stories, laughing easily, engaging in thoughtful conversations, and helping to create lasting memories. This will guarantee an invitation back every time!
Maryanne Parker, Founder and Executive Director, Manor of Manners
Our responsibility as guests starts from the moment we receive an invitation.
The general etiquette missteps while attending an event are not RSVP, not being punctual, not bringing a gift, not making a good impression, inappropriate dress code, not knowing when to leave, not sending a thank you card. Just to list a few.
However, for this year's Thanksgiving dinner, the biggest faux pas in my opinion will be...discussing politics or our poor communication skills! We all know certain topics might be taboo such as religion, sex, personal matters, money and...of course politics.
We should always read the room and understand what kind of topics we can start and entertain. This might sound like common sense but unfortunately, it is not always a common practice.
If the guests are not too passionate about political topics this might be a good way for all opinions to blend into one intelligent conversation and we all can learn from each other. We can focus on common ground instead of our differences.
Of course, in some situations, we might not be able to come to an agreement and this is the moment when we can excuse ourselves and focus on something or somebody else.
Showing gratitude to the host is paramount and participating in the gathering by bringing a positive energy will be greatly appreciated. Or otherwise, our Thanksgiving turkey might be at stake and our relationships and guest reputation, too.
Myka Meier, Founder and Director, Beaumont Etiquette
Coming empty-handed and not offering to bring something or contribute if you are being hosted would be the biggest Thanksgiving faux pas, as the holiday is about thankfulness, togetherness and community.
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