The Tragic Truth About Eva Mendes

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For decades, Eva Mendes has captivated audiences with her movie star talent and charm. Though she hasn't acted in a live-action project since 2014, Mendes' star power continues to shine brightly — thanks in small part to her marriage to fellow actor Ryan Gosling. Best known for her roles in films such as "Hitch" and "Training Day," Mendes is hiding a personal story of resilience and pain behind her glamorous celebrity image. While she hides it well, there's a lot more to the actor than initially meets the eye.

Underneath the glitz and glamor, Mendes has faced a number of major challenges in her personal life — challenges that have often gone unnoticed by the public. She's faced heartbreaking family loss and endured Hollywood's biases as a Latina actor, often at a time when the industry lacked the inclusivity it strives for today. Through it all, Mendes has managed to balance the pressures of motherhood (not to mention marriage to a fellow star) in the public eye. Let's shed some much-needed light on the most heartbreaking hurdles that Mendes has faced throughout her life.

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One of the toughest events in Eva Mendes' life is also one of the most recent. The movie star faced immense heartbreak when her older brother, Carlos, passed away from throat cancer in April 2016 at the age of 53. The tragic loss, which happened less than two weeks before Mendes gave birth to her second daughter, Amada, left her and her family devastated. Losing him was especially difficult for Mendes because Carlos had been a source of strength and support, always offering love and encouragement.

Mendes told Latina Magazine that Amada's name is a tribute to Carlos' memory because she felt a deep connection to the moniker during that difficult time. It also means "beloved," which is exactly what Carlos was to the Mendes family. "There was poetry to it all," Mendes said about the close proximity of the two major events in an interview with People. "It's so tough. Thank God I had my baby ... so there was something to move forward." Ryan Gosling also showed love for his wife's family by publicly paying tribute to Carlos in his 2017 Golden Globe acceptance speech, acknowledging the sacrifices Mendes had made while caring for their children before dedicating the award to his late brother-in-law.

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Navigating the world of Hollywood as a Latina actor is no easy feat. Eva Mendes has encountered more than her fair share of blatant discrimination over the years, especially in the early part of her career. In the late 1990s and early 2000s, casting directors frequently deemed her "too ethnic" for mainstream roles, holding her back from the opportunity to break into major projects. Mendes was rarely cast opposite white romantic leads — something that really limited the opportunities available to her. This was a frustrating way to work, to say the least.

"That's all they would say at the beginning — 'She's too ethnic for this, too ethnic for that.' It was so crazy," Mendes told The Times in 2024. She elaborated on her casting challenges in an interview with Newsweek, noting that she was usually cast alongside Black romantic co-leads solely because of her skin color. "Certainly I've benefited, because I've got to work with Ice Cube, Denzel and Will. But it's lame. I wish the mentality wasn't so closed." There's little question why Mendes hasn't returned to acting in films since 2014 with prejudice like this in the industry. Here's hoping that — if Mendes ever does return to the screen — it will go differently for her.

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After years of facing Hollywood's biases head-on, Eva Mendes was left feeling heartbroken and undervalued. While the industry has certainly made some strides since the early 2000s, Mendes still feels the lingering effects of racism. It's one small part of the very big feelings of anxiety the actor has carried with her since her childhood. Growing up, Mendes often felt overwhelmed by intense emotions in the hectic environment of home.

"My household when I was little was very chaotic: a lot of screaming, a lot of anxiety, a lot of turmoil," she said on the "Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali" podcast. Exposed to such stressful ordeals on the daily, Mendes continues to heal from these feelings of sadness and inadequacy. And, as a mother, she tries to be keenly aware of how her experiences might affect her parenting style. She even authored a children's book drawing from her experiences that's aimed at helping kids understand and cope. Titled "Desi, Mami, and the Never-Ending Worries," the goal of the book is to help kids — like Mendes' own daughters — understand and manage their anxiety.

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Adding to those childhood feelings of anxiety is the fear Eva Mendes felt toward her parents. Growing up, her family lived modestly. As such, Mendes was no stranger to the struggles that come with limited resources. To deal, her parents relied on strict and sometimes fear-driven methods of discipline: a practice Mendes now questions as she raises her own children with Ryan Gosling. She acknowledges that while her mother's love was unwavering, there were lasting effects from this tough parenting style she experienced — particularly the weaponization of fear.

"I really don't want to raise by fear. ... I get emotional over it because it's so not fair to the kids," she said on "Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali." While Mendes speaks highly of her mother's love, she admits that she still holds onto some of that fear when she thinks about how she and Gosling raise their children. Mendes hopes to provide a healthier, more secure upbringing for them, free from the anxiety and fear that she experienced. It's all about breaking the cycle for her children and her children's children.

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Considering Eva Mendes' struggle with anxiety and her strong feelings about her own chaotic childhood, it's not surprising to learn she now grapples with mom guilt. Despite her best efforts to be the full-time stay-at-home mom she feels her children deserve, she often finds herself doubting her parenting choices because of what she's been through in life. Like many parents, Mendes finds herself occasionally raising her voice, especially when overwhelmed or rushed.

Mendes says that when she was in her 20s, "I was like, 'I'm not gonna be anything like my parents.'" However, she proved herself wrong. "I'm shocked ... [by] how much I'm like my mother. And I adore her," she shared during her "Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali" interview. Her mom guilt comes through most prominently in the instances when she raises her voice to her kids. In a since-deleted Instagram post, she revealed that she's also scaled back her social media use, prompted by a conversation with one of her daughters, who said that Mendes spent too much time on her phone (via People). Nevertheless: throughout all this loss, discrimination, anxiety, and the day-to-day challenges of motherhood, Mendes has shown that the journey of self-improvement is an ever-ongoing thing.