Astronaut & Activist Amanda Nguyen On The Healing Power Of Makeup

Trigger Warning: This piece contains references and recounts of sexual assault.

Astronaut. Activist. Author. CEO. Holding just one of these titles is an achievement in itself. But all four? That’s the stuff of icons. Which is exactly how one would describe Amanda Nguyen. At the age of 33, the Harvard University grad has accomplished more than many will in a lifetime, including founding Rise, a non-governmental civil rights organization aimed to protect the civil rights of sexual assault and rape survivors, through which she drafted the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Rights Act, a bill that passed unanimously through the United States Congress in 2016. And this year, Nguyen will be be the first Vietnamese American woman to travel to space on a Blue Origin New Shepard launch. Oh, and to top things off, she’s releasing her first book, Saving Five: A Memoir of Hope, on March 4. Because why should the sky be the limit?

For Nguyen, these achievements and milestones are part of a greater promise she made to herself years ago... following a life-shattering event that threatened to break her spirit and her dreams of space travel. “When astronauts fly, they have something called a zero-G indicator, and it’s a little object that lets us know that we’ve hit microgravity or zero-G,” she explains to TZR on a recent Zoom call. “Mine is a promise that I made to myself when I left the hospital after my rape kit procedure. I wrote in a journal, ‘Never, never give up,’ and I will be carrying that in my flight suit and when I hit zero-G, I’ll be looking at that promise over earth. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.”

In 2013, while attending Harvard, Nguyen was raped. In the hospital, she was informed that if she chose not to file charges with law enforcement, her rape kit would be destroyed after six months if an extension request was not filed (a process she was also not properly or thoroughly briefed on at the time). After hearing from other survivors with similar experiences, the aspiring astronaut realized just how broken and unjust the legal system could be and resolved to make a change. So she did. The Sexual Assault Survivors’ Rights Act essentially overhauls the way rape kits are processed and allows victims the right to have them preserved for the length of their case’s statute of limitations, as well as be notified of an evidence kit’s destruction, and to be informed about results of forensic exams.

“I had a dream to be an astronaut, and I chose to defer my dreams for my rights,” Nguyen says. “And after 10 years, I am so grateful to be able to honor that person I was before I was hurt. That’s what I’m looking forward to.”

To chronicle her next milestone — and share her story with the masses — Nguyen partnered with e.l.f. Cosmetics, who featured the astronaut and activist in its Show Your(s)e.l.f. documentary series, which celebrates stories of disruptors who “have overcome adversity in a unique way.” For Nguyen, the partnership with the beauty giant has been organic and a natural “value alignment” in that, like her, e.l.f. is committed to positivity, inclusivity, and hope.

“It really is just the constellation of things that turned into a greater partnership I’m really grateful for,” she says. It also plays on her forever love of makeup and skin care — she’s a major red lipstick devotee — as a form of healing and self-care.

Ahead, Nguyen further discusses the little ways she takes care of her body and mind daily — and how she’s preparing for her next big adventure to space.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

I actually sleep with my red light therapy with the light panel. So, the first thing that I do is, I turn it on. It’s my work smarter, not harder tactic of wellness. And when I’m up and right before I go to sleep, it’s there. I turn it on. So that’s the first thing I do. And then of course, I have my Holy Hydration! Hydrating Coconut Mist, so I do spray myself with that in the morning.

When you have the chance to treat yourself, what do you do?

Honestly, it’s being able to be by myself. I feel like I’m on a bullet train and a rocket sustaining high G forces. So, a treat for myself is being able to be by myself and listen to my own thoughts, and that might look like a hot cup of water. But it’s honestly just having the space to think.

What are you listening to these days?

Classical music. That’s what I listen to. When I’m by myself, I do put on either Bach or just things that I know, like Mozart, things that I’m familiar with. I grew up playing the piano and I still play. That’s the music that calms me. And then I also have Charli XCX.

One thing you can’t live without?

[E.l.f.’s] Hydrating Camo Concealer. I have it on and we’re not even on camera.

Where are you dreaming of traveling to?

Besides off the Earth? The second place is Vietnam. Early last year, I went and I retraced my mother’s boat refugee journey. I went to the port where she left, and then I went to her refugee island in Malaysia and I took shells from that island. For me, it represents that we came on boats and now we’re in spaceships. Despite so much trauma, we’re able to overcome that. It was actually really important to me that I take this journey on my own before [the space launch], and one of my great anxieties was I didn’t know how Vietnam would take me because I was born in America. I’m so grateful that Vietnam just rallied behind the news. I think there are so many people who are children of immigrants who might understand that third identity culture, and I’m truly so grateful that Vietnam, Asian America, and really women all across the world rallied for the announcement. So, I’m happy and excited to go back to Vietnam. That’s where I’d like to go.

What’s your go-to secret weapon when you want to look and feel good?

It is definitely a lipstick. When I have testified, I deliberately and consciously choose to show up the way that I do. In the beginning, I didn’t know if I needed to make myself smaller to assimilate. And I figured that if I’m already going to be telling my story in front of the nation about something so vulnerable and sharing my soul to everybody, that I might as well show up the way that I do and represent myself to the fullest authentically. So yeah, I put it on and one of the most meaningful experiences that I’ve had is when a survivor comes up to me on the street and mentions that she feels solidarity and community and particularly points out that it’s because of what I’m wearing, it’s because of my lipstick.

Sexual violence is about taking away power, and that healing process is different for everyone. And for me, it was being able to feel, make choices that make me feel like myself again. And part of who I am is somebody who likes wearing lipstick. So being able to put that on was a form of empowerment, and I’m so glad that that has resonated with other survivors around the world.

Do you have a favorite workout/wellness practice?

I like to have my morning matcha. Even when I travel, I’m like, ‘Where’s my matcha?,’ and I go find matcha places. I also do my walks in nature.

And then, there is resistance training, which is part of building a strong core to be able to withstand high G forces [in space]. But the physical [training] is also very mental. One of the most physically demanding modules that I had to do was in the neutral buoyancy lab. It’s essentially a big pool that simulates microgravity. You are blindfolded and then you’re put into a spaceship crash simulation. And so your vehicle flips multiple times in the water while you’re underwater without an oxygen tank, blindfolded, buckled in.

And that [helps determine your] lung capacity for oxygen. In one of my training simulations, one where I had an oxygen tank, that tank failed. I remember I took my first breath and I was like, Something’s wrong. And I took a second breath and I was completely out of lung capacity. And I was like, OK, you either do or die in the moment. I mean, you don’t die. There are instructors that are looking at you, pulling you out, so you’re safe. But in the moment, mentally, you click into your training and you make a choice in the moment. And I think that’s one of the more scary but also greatest things that I was able to learn about myself — that when it does hit the fan, when there’s a crisis, I know I can handle it. I know that I will choose to pull from my training, follow the steps that I was taught and survive. And so that part is mental.

What’s the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever received?

Find a love that is equal to how you love yourself or how your girlfriends love you.

What’s a healthy meal you always make/order?

I am really proud to say that I’ve incorporated a lot of my culinary heritage [into my diet]. It’s very vegetable forward. And so that’s mainly what I eat.

That said, when you return from space, what’s the first thing you’re going to want to eat?

I’ve thought about this a lot actually. It’s definitely going to be Vietnamese food.

What’s the small stress-saving luxury you swear by at home?

One is not really a luxury — I use the Navy SEAL technique of box breathing to ground myself. I learned it actually while preparing for these large testimony moments. And that helped me when I was going through my high G force testing in the jet. So that’s the luxury of knowledge.

But the other luxury I will say is just being able to put on my glam when I want to and show up in the way that I want to. Whether that be wearing my red, No Regrets lipstick, or just taking care of my skin at night. I am just able to put on that skin care, take care of myself, and it feels good. I know that I am doing something that my future self will appreciate.

What are you saving up for at the moment?

It’s not money, it’s memories. I record glimmers, which is the opposite of triggers. So, I save up memories that spark joy and put them in a document. And if I ever have a rainy day that I need it, I read it and I remember how great life can be.

I think that science shows us the neuroplasticity in our brains are wired to what we put attention to. So often, our media landscape focuses on things that are alarming because it does attract attention, negative things. And I want to retrain my brain to just center around joy, hope, and positivity. So yeah, it’s been a couple of years now [that I’ve practiced this] and I have so much to be grateful for.

Can you give an example of a glimmer?

For instance, I was taking a walk, and the way that the leaves were falling in the wind, it was such a nice moment, and I wrote that down. That was a small glimmer of my day. It’s like a version of a gratitude journal, but it incorporates the senses more and it’s these little things.

One thing you want to go back and tell your younger self?

Well, I wrote a whole book about that. The book is called Saving Five, because I go back and I talk to my 5-year-old, 15-year-old, and 22-year-old versions of myself. Twenty-two is when the rape happened, which is why it’s 22. The biggest thing that I want to tell myself is that you will make it through, that you have everything that you need inside of you to chase your dreams and accomplish them. We are never alone because we are made up of all of the past versions of ourselves that have survived. And I am grateful to each version of myself and for those who are younger, that you will grow up to be the person you needed to be.