A new mother asks if she is overreacting about her boyfriend's behavior following the birth of their child and a chorus of online supporters are urging her to, "Talk to him."
Posting under the username Brimakenzie2001 on Reddit this week, the mom described feeling sidelined as her partner of five years takes over nearly all aspects of newborn care.
The original poster (OP) explained that she had a smooth labor and delivery with no complications or pain. However, since returning home, she noticed her boyfriend asserting control over caregiving responsibilities.
'Taking over completely'
He discourages her from picking up their crying baby, insists on handling diaper changes himself and often takes the baby away from her after feeding.
She recalled one instance where he briefly left the house and later asked whether she had changed their baby's diaper.
"Like no, I just let it all sit there (sarcasm)," the mom told Redditors, adding, "I just feel like he's taking over completely and I'm not getting that newborn experience."
When she tries to offer input on parenting decisions, her boyfriend brushes her off. The post ends with her questioning whether she is overreacting.
Responses to the Reddit post reflected a shared concern about the situation with the most upvoted comment calling on the mom to, "Talk to him."
'That's kinda how I was'
Others emphasized the need for discussion, with a user advising, "Communication is key; definitely worth addressing how his actions make you feel. Maybe that would clear the air."
Some commentators speculated that the boyfriend's behavior might stem from anxiety or insecurity about his role as a father.
"That's kinda how I was as a new dad," a user said, "I was so excited to be a father I wanted to do everything I could for my little boy."
Others questioned whether he may have underlying fears about the mother's capabilities, despite there being no indication of any issues with her ability to care for the baby.
Parenting experts suggest that adjusting to life with a newborn can be a challenge for both parents and balancing caregiving roles requires active communication.
According to Newsweek, partners may struggle to express their emotions or fears when adapting to life with a new child. Miscommunication or unspoken concerns can create unnecessary tension in the relationship.
Relationship specialists also emphasize the importance of maintaining an emotional connection after welcoming a baby.
As noted by Babies in Bloom, small actions—such as listening to each other's concerns and recognizing shared responsibilities—can strengthen a couple's bond during the transition to parenthood.
Several users empathized with the father, such as one person who thought he may have heard admonishment of new dads that don't do enough for their wives postpartum and is overcompensating.
"He may think he's being a good father and husband for allowing you as much free time to rest as possible," the person continued.
"You won't know unless you communicate."
Newsweek has contacted Brimakenzie2001 comment via Reddit.
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