Ethan Slater's ex wife Lilly Jay addresses Ariana Grande romance in powerful essay

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater's unexpected romance has made headlines for over a year, with the actors divorcing from their ex-partners in July 2023. While the timeline never looked good, his ex-wife Dr. Lilly Jay was never one to stay quiet saying in a statement to Page Six, “[Ariana’s] the story, really. Not a girl’s girl." “My family is just collateral damage," she reportedly said. 

A year and six months later, the clinical psychologist in perinatal mental health & child development penned an essay for The Cut, where she shared her story and how the public spectacle impacted her life and career. "If I can’t be invisible anymore, I may as well introduce myself," she writes. 

What she had to say about her relationship with Ethan Slater

Although she did not mention either of them by name, she spoke of her relationship with Slater. Jay said she never felt happier than when she was pregnant. When she gave birth to their son in August 2022, she survived preeclampsia, a life-threatening birth complication, and she was overjoyed at the thought that her family was whole. 

While no one thinks they're going to get divorced, she explained, "I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity."

Although she is a perinatal psychologist with knowledge of  "how vulnerable a marriage is in the postpartum period" she moved to another country with her 2-month-old baby and husband to support his career. "Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn’t understand the growing distance between us," she wrote. 

Wicked began filming in December 2022, and there were reports that Grande and Slater were "all over each other"  at Michelle Yeoh’s Oscar Party in March 2023. 

Sources confirmed to People that Grande and Slater “recently” started on July 12, 2023, and the Spongebob musical star filed for divorce on July 26.

 "In the countless hours I spend rocking my son to sleep, pushing his stroller, marveling at his sweaty little hands grasping a crayon, I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage," she wrote. 

As Wicked debuted at No. 1 with an estimated $164.2 million global opening, She admits "days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker."

How it affected her life 

Social media always had different influences on their life. While being a psychologist solidified her "detachment from social media," she explained, "My partner was on a different path, in which social media and exposure were not impediments but rather necessities."

She said they "puzzled through this predicament on walks, over pizza, in our apartment and excitedly concocted rules of engagement of how and what he would share about our lives together."

After the news, Jay lost her privacy, and she's seen hints of how it's affected her career, "like the job offer that dissolved without explanation after yet another tabloid news cycle or the patient who’s scheduled for a first appointment but seemingly vanishes."

With this essay, the doctor hopes to tell all her future patients, "I’m sorry I can’t be invisible anymore (really, more than you know, I’m sorry)."

She also shared a beautiful message, "Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward."