A woman has been backed by internet users for refusing to cater her friend's baby shower after being uninvited.
Reddit user u/Lookingtohide shared her dilemma in the thread "AITAH [Am I the A*****]" after an old friend reached out to reveal she was 35 weeks pregnant and set to be induced at 37 weeks.
In a post that garnered more than 14,000 upvotes, the poster said how she came to be invited. She wrote: "I was so excited since I haven't seen her in so long. She started a gc [group chat] with all the mutuals she invited. She did disclose that this was gonna be a quick and small one since she had just found out she was pregnant.
"We all started volunteering to be responsible for different things for the baby shower. I said I'll cook Filipino food and help pay for some of the decor. I sent money to the friend who was in charge of decorating."
The poster, a mom-of-one, immediately started preparing and buying ingredients. The mom-to-be said she invited 15 guests, but out of caution, the poster prepared enough food for 50. She also arranged for her mother-in-law to watch her baby so she could focus on cooking.
"Then the night before the baby shower, she dm'ed [direct messaged] me on ig [Instagram] that she had to 'make some hard decisions' and had to uninvite me but still 'wanted' me to drop off the food," she wrote.
The Reddit user said she respected her friend's decision but declined to deliver the food, which required a 75-minute drive, for an event she was no longer invited to.
"She asked me how she was gonna find someone to cater on such a short notice. That it was f'ed up and hateful," the poster said.
Seeking advice, she asked the Reddit community for their opinions since some other invitees had sided with the expecting mother. Ultimately, she decided to donate all the food to a women's and children's shelter. Newsweek reached out to u/Lookingtohide for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
Expert Reacts
Jeanne Cross, owner and licensed therapist at EMDR Center of Denver, Colorado, told Newsweek: "The original poster was not in the wrong for withdrawing her catering services after being uninvited. Her initial offer to prepare food was clearly tied to her invitation, and her decision to step back when excluded is understandable.
"Uninviting someone from an event they've invested time, energy, and resources into—without explanation—can feel disrespectful and dismissive, especially when they've made significant personal sacrifices to contribute," Cross added.
The mom-to-be's expectation of the poster to deliver the food shows a lack of consideration for the effort and emotional investment, Cross said.
"The poster's choice to donate the prepared food to a shelter was both practical and generous, showing her ability to turn a difficult situation into a positive outcome.
"For next steps, the original poster may consider having a calm, direct conversation with the mom-to-be to seek clarity about the decision to uninvite her," Cross added.
"This could help the original poster decide whether this friendship is worth maintaining. Meanwhile, the poster should focus on friendships where mutual respect and open communication are prioritized," Cross said.
Reddit Reacts
"Tell her you can do the catering. The bill is a 1000 dollars. Please pay before delivery," wrote one user.
"Why tf [the f***] did she have to make a 'hard decision' to uninvite you at the last minute? After you already sent money to pitch in on the decor??!! And after you spent money and time cooking for the event? Obviously, you're right not to drop it off … I hope you had a good group of people near you to come and help you eat everything you made! (Or good tupperware so you can freeze it for later.)," posted Secret_Sister_Sarah.
"Umm excuse me? Uno Reverse her! 'I thought we were friends, it's f'd up to invite someone, ask them to pay cash $$ and cook and then uninvite them.' This girl is not your friend; she was using you," added another user.
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