I saw La Clique’s eyepopping Xmas Show – I wasn’t prepared for how brilliantly bawdy and bonkers it really is

IF you haven't seen a screaming painted lady spinning giant hoola-hoops while smashing butter into her bare breasts while popcorn bursts out of her hat....well...frankly, you haven't lived.

And you certainly haven't come across La Clique in Leicester Square, London.

For a show that only performs for nine weeks in the West End each year, this utterly bonkers comedy cabaret is one of the absolute best distractions from another dreary year.

And one where an astonishing array of wild performers will literally take your breath away. 

Whether that's because you've just been covered in shaving foam emitting from a very bendy man who is contorting enough to shave his own private parts (the last time I went).

Or you've been splattered with water from a stunning burlesque dancer stripping in a shower - there's astonishing acts at every turn.

A decade on from winning the Best Entertainment Olivier Award and fresh from a Northern debut at Depot Mayfield in Manchester, La Clique features the best of circus, comedy and cabaret - with VERY adult themes and total nudity. 

Based in a massive Spiegeltent right in the centre of Leicester Square's Christmas Market, it's on every night - with two performances on a Saturday.  

There's a whole host of what appear to be the world's best circus entertainers from all over the world performing some gravity defying stunts - and it seems that every night is a different line up.

This year it's celebrating it's 20th year.

And there's something for all adults - no matter what you think you're into.

There's death defying ladder manipulation from Danik Abishev - the 'Bad Boy of Australian circus'.

Or aerial contortion, specialising in the ancient art of Hair Suspension - from Miranda Menzies.

And this year for the first time, roller skater duo, Isis Clegg-Vinell & Nathan Price, who defy gravity and will blow audiences away with their electric performance.

Plus you've got America’s Got Talent semi-finalist Bayley Graham who brings his eye-popping unique tap dancing to the stage.

And remember - it's all unapologetically sexy.

Do not bring your kids - or face answering some very awkward questions - there's a reason why its 16+.

And, unless you fancy getting showered in whatever the performer fancies chucking out into the crowd - don't go front row!

When I last went, we saw the incredible Mikael Bres who has a heart stopping pole routine,  burlesque 'Royalty' La Jolie Papilon, and contortionist/dancer David Periera - who shaved his entire body and then threw the filthy towel at me.

And, of course, Tara Bomb, the screaming popcorn queen.

But the La Clique website boasts a whole array of varied and vivid entertainers - who have travelled the world wowing crowds from Vegas to Australia, Montreal to New York. 

And this time round there's a whole host of new faces.

To pigeonhole them under such straightforward descriptions is to to do them a disservice - they are clearly some of the world's best circus performers with unique routines that will make you gasp, scream, laugh and feel every so slightly terrified.

And possibly a bit sick. 

I'm not going to ruin your trip by describing the cabaret routines either - this is a show that is best approached blind, possibly slightly tipsy, and with a very open mind.

Watch, drink and be very merry, and have a wonderful La Clique Christmas.

For more information and tickets visit La Clique's WEBSITE

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