I starved myself after being fat-shamed by an ex… now I finally know my curves are sexy, says MAFS star Holly Ditchfield

HOLLY DITCHFIELD has had a tumultuous ride on Married At First Sight.

But, despite splitting from husband Alex Henry, 28, and having their many clashes play out on Channel 4 screens - the 30-year-old mum can still confidently say she's sexy.

The couple got off to a great start, with Holly sharing that Alex helped her body confidence, and made her feel "so beautiful" from the moment she woke up in the morning.

However, after being unhappy with the way Alex spoke to other women in the group, and with how he dismissed her feelings when she said that she was missing her children, Holly decided to call it quits last week, with Alex following suit.

Holly, who shares children Declan, 13, and Daisy nine, with a former partner, opened up exclusively to Fabulous about her reasons for going on the show.

"In past relationships, I have always been told that I needed to lose weight," she said.

"In one relationship, the guy said to me, 'Is there anything you would change about me?' And I said, No, I think you're great. Why would I be with you if I wanted to change anything about you?'

"And I said, 'Would you change anything about me?' And he said, 'I just wish you would lose a bit of weight'."

Holly, who is from Manchester but now lives in Huddersfield, revealed that she had only been either a size 12 or a size 14 at the time and had been living her "best life" before the cruel comment.

Sadly, his words hit Holly hard, and she began starving herself.

"I just automatically stopped eating and got really thin," she said.

"My friends started to pull me up on it, and told me I looked really unhealthy.

"I developed a bit of an eating disorder and just had a bad relationship with food."

Thankfully, Holly was able to get her confidence back after realising that she didn't want to settle for a man that wanted to change her.

She cut all ties with the relationship and "got Holly back."

"This is why body confidence is so big for me," she said.

"Men sit on the internet and say, 'Oh, I love curves. I love a woman's body'.

"But a real woman's body is a body that has imperfections, has stretch marks, that wobbles in certain ways when you walk or you laugh.

"And I love that about myself, and the fact that I love that about myself enables me to project myself as sexy to a man."

Holly said that to help her to gain more confidence, she takes her imperfections and treats them as a "sex factor."

"I look at my stretch marks and I think they're tiger marks, it's giving fierce, it's giving feisty, it's giving I can ruin your life."

She continued: "I also love the fact I've got a mum body, because without that mum body, I wouldn't have the two most beautiful children in the world who I'm so, so proud of every single day."

Holly added that appearing on Married At First Sight really helped her to "love every part" of herself.

She said: "When you're around 100 cameras a day, the cameras are going to pick up angles that you don't like.

"So I really had to learn to love every part of me when I went on MAFS, because I knew there would be pictures that I don't really like of myself.

"I learned to have the 'I don't care' attitude. I love who I am, so it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about me."

She added that following her appearance on MAFS, Holly has received countless messages from women, stating that her body positive attitude has made them feel more confident in their skin.

"I don't think it spoken about enough that women struggle with their bodies and they struggle with self-love," she said.

"Curvy is the new sexy, and I'd really like women to listen and believe that they can be sexy too."

Becoming mum

When Holly was just 16 years old, she found out that she was pregnant, three weeks before she gave birth.

"I'd gone from having this perfect teenager life, to suddenly having so much responsibility," she said.

"It was very daunting and it was very scary, but I think part of me always wanted to be a mum, so when I found out I was pregnant, I thought 'Maybe this will be the making of me'."

Holly revealed that she had had periods throughout her whole pregnancy, and only ended up doing a test after her mum became suspicious as she had started gaining weight.

"When it came back positive, I thought surely not, that must be faulty," she said.

"And then I did another one, and another one.

"I remember actually nearly fainting and thinking, 'oh my God, is this a dream?'"

Holly said that her parents were "devastated" at first, as they didn't think their little girl was old enough to have a baby, but said their hearts melted when they saw her son.

"Everyone pulled together, and we made this perfect surrounding for this surprise baby coming into the world," she said.

When her baby was born, Holly had to leave college, but she went back just six months later to continue her studies.

"I never wanted to be a mum that couldn't provide for my children," she says.

"I always wanted to be that mum that my kids look at and think, 'mum made it on her own', and that is exactly what I did."

Holly said that she found juggling parenting and going to college extremely challenging, but added that she didn't feel like she missed out on being a teenager, as she was never much of a drinker.

"I enjoyed being a mum that much that my life all of a sudden just became about me and my son," she said.

"It didn't even click in my head at any point that I had to try and still keep up with what everyone else was doing my age."

At 19, Holly unexpectedly became pregnant again, and gave birth to her "bonkers" daughter Daisy.

Daisy was initially a twin, and Holly unfortunately miscarried the baby, without even knowing.

"My life would have been so different," she said.

Holly now has a successful beauty business which she does from her own home, meaning that she can look after her two children while making cash.

"They're still in their home setting and happy at home while mum's hustling upstairs and throwing girls into lashes."