1 week ago
1
Kaleb Cooper "can't stand sheep", as his song suggests - but now Jeremy Clarkson, who'd been equally ambivalent about them, has bought a brand new flock.
After discovering that lamb prices are currently "high", Clarkson's Farm favourite Jeremy couldn't resist seeing a business opportunity - and he put aside his previous uncertainty about owning sheep. Despite handing his last flock over to a local shepherd in despair and "vowing there and then I'd never have sheep again", he is now looking forward to fooling Kaleb.
"I've been told that it's unwise to put cows in a field where EasyCare sheep [a breed designed for low-input farming] have been because they will eat the discarded wool, which does terrible things to some of their stomachs," he warned. However, Jeremy jokingly gloated in his latest column for The Times that he's "certain" an unsuspecting Kaleb doesn't realise.
"When the sheep move on from their field and he puts the shorthorn [cows] in there, I can pull an incredulous face and wonder out loud how he can call himself a farmer if he didn't know that. It'll be my first ever farming win," he exclaimed.
"Of course, you might think that by writing this here, I've given the game away," he continued. "Not so. Because that's the other thing I know about Kaleb. He doesn't read the newspapers!"
The banter between Jeremy and Kaleb is a long-standing chuckle, with the latter frequently quipping that his co-star is "useless" and sneering at his abilities as a farmer.
Now it could be time for Jeremy to get revenge on his pal as the nation looks on - although he is likely just joking.
As things stand, Kaleb is already "disgusted" by his decision to buy a flock.
Jeremy struggled during Covid with his first flock, which ended up developing painful weeping sores despite his best efforts to help them.
He'd also tried his hand at lambing, only for things to fall flat when he witnessed the heartbreaking reality of some of the sheep giving birth to "dead babies".
Meanwhile, there's another awkward problem.
"A sheep eats and sh**s simultaneously," Jeremy groaned, "which means that the pretty path that meanders through the field and past the pond and through the woods is now, basically, a river of faeces which the dogs roll in all the time."
However, Jeremy - who lamented he'd made just £114 in direct profits in his first year as a farmer - is persevering, and recently also tried his hand at looking after pigs.
English (US) ·