Maura Higgins says she ‘didn’t want to be here’ as she opens up about ‘dark thoughts’ after Love Island fame

MAURA Higgins has revealed that she 'didn't want to be here' after shooting to fame on Love Island.

The 33-year-old, who took part in the ITV2 show in 2019, has opened up about the ‘dark thoughts’ she had after finding fame in the iconic villa.

Maura entered the show as a bombshell on the fifth season of the reality dating show - and soon became a fan favourite with viewers.

Despite putting on a smile for her new followers, the star has bravely admitted that she nearly committed suicide after leaving the villa because she was overworked.

Speaking on Paul C Brunson's We Need To Talk podcast, Maura, who is from Ballymahon, Ireland, said: "Life after Love Island was a very hard time in my life.

"I was just dropped to the UK. It was like someone just picked me up, dropped me to the UK and I was in the public eye. I had nowhere to live. I had no friends, no family, nobody I could trust.

"I've done everything by myself. I've been independent my whole life. But that was a lot. That was scary. Very, very scary.

"And I remember a lot of times I was faking a smile. Work was so busy. I was getting barely any sleep.

"I was chased by the paps everywhere I went. I had no clothes.

"I had a suitcase with just Love island bikinis that were probably crusty.

"I had nothing, absolutely nothing. I was living out of a hotel in London because that’s where all my work was and it was way overloaded.

"There was no break.

"It was going from one thing to the next, like, to radio to this photo shoot to you've signed with brands.

"People will say, ‘why didn't you say no?’ But you're in this new world."

Things got too much for Maura, but didn't talk to anyone about how she was feeling.

She continued: "I had a breakdown. I had dark thoughts, very dark thoughts.

"And it got to a stage where I don't even think I told my mam. I tell my mum everything. I didn't tell her how bad it was.

"I didn't want to be here anymore. I thought that was going to be the best thing.

"There was so much expected from me. And because I was there on my own, I was like, ‘I've just nobody to help’.

"You know, people say moving house is stressful. Moving house is very stressful.

"Moving country while being thrown into the public eye is terrifying."

Maura's best friend ended up intervening and saving her life when she phoned her agent in secret to make her come back to Ireland.

She explained: "My girlfriend back in Ireland, she called my agent at the time behind my back. She's a queen.

"And she basically demanded that I come back to Ireland for a break. She knew by listening to me that I was not me. And I got to go home.

"I can't remember how long for. I just had my home comforts.

"You know my mammy, my family, my best friend and I slept.

"I never got to do that when I came out of the show. You want to get home to what you're used to, and I never got that.

"I was just thrown in and smile on my face and, you know, you don't want to be rude to people when they're asking you for photos.

"I never want to be a rude person, no matter how hard of a day I'm having.

"I felt so mentally exhausted from just putting on the smile. There were so many things I did that I don’t even remember. I was miserable."

Maura left the villa hand in hand with ex boyfriend Curtis Pritchard.

The pair dated for eight months before they split.

The beauty then got into a relationship with former co-star Chris Taylor, but went their separate ways in 2021 after six months.

Maura has had an extremely successful career since Love Island.

She's appeared on various TV shows including Celebrity Juice, Aftersun and Loose Women.

The star was also given her owns show Maura Higgins: You're Joking Me!

More recently she was announced as show host for Love Island USA: Aftersun.

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.