Michael Chandler has spoken candidly about the mental struggles he faced following his UFC 309 defeat to Charles Oliveira.
Chandler went into the bout in New York last November with seemingly bulletproof confidence after a strong fight camp, but was beaten by an excellent Oliveira display as the former undisputed UFC lightweight champion claimed a unanimous decision victory at Madison Square Garden.
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For Chandler, it was a loss that derailed the plans he was determined to speak into existence, with the former Bellator lightweight champion convinced that he would avenge his prior TKO loss to Oliveira at UFC 262 in 2021, then move on to eventually challenge for a title.
Speaking on his YouTube channel, Chandler opened up on his mindset before and after his rematch with Oliveira as he revealed how he struggled to deal with the disappointment of defeat in the immediate aftermath of the fight.
"It's 100 percent the biggest let-down in my entire career," he said.
"I have never been more confident that I was going to win a fight."
Chandler explained that he kept a journal throughout his fight camp and how committing his thoughts to paper helped him build a level of confidence that he would achieve his goal of defeating the Brazilian.
"This is a 400-page journal, and I journaled 300 pages," he said.
"It's actually crazy. I was doing six, seven, eight (pages) a day sometimes.
"That journal will make you see how much I believed in myself. I believed that I was going to beat Charles Oliveira so much. Never in my entire life have I been this confident."
Despite everything seemingly being in place for him to succeed, the bout itself didn't go Chandler's way. And, as he recounted the events of the evening, Chandler described how he was in a state of shock as he tried to process the result.
"I've been fighting for 15 years, doing hand-to-hand combat for 24 years, and this camp was probably the most dialed-in I've ever been, and it has everything to do with how much I wrote in that journal, how much I believed in myself, and just thought it was going to be destiny," he explained.
"People made fun of me when I gave the road map. 'I'm going to beat Charles Oliveira, and then fight Islam (Makhachev) next. Or, if Islam is not ready, I'll fight Conor (McGregor) next. If Conor's not ready, I'll fight Max Holloway for the BMF belt.'
"That made a ton of sense to me, and I was going to go out there and I was going to beat Charles Oliveira and, you know, obviously it didn't happen."
After the bout, Chandler gave a typically positive speech as he called for bouts with Holloway and McGregor, but once he'd left the arena with his wife, the harsh reality of defeat started to set in, and the lightweight contender admitted that emotion and self-doubt began to creep in.
"I remember leaving Madison Square Garden, and me and Brie got into a black car ... and they took me back to the hotel, and I just started crying," he recalled.
"She held my hand, and it was just like, I was like, 'Babe, I've lost in the past. I've lost titles. I've lost title shots, I've lost title fights, I've lost fights, but this one could have been the last one, you know?'
"And for a fighter, you're thinking, 'OK, I've still got time on the clock, I've still got my talents, I've still got my abilities, I still got a path to get there.' But it's not easy. In the UFC, it's not easy.
"You've got to string together some wins. You've got to string together the right opportunities, the right fights. They've got to be big enough.
"And, just in that moment, maybe it was the emotion of losing, I just felt like, 'Man, this could have been the last one. This could have been the last shot. I get one shot. I get one life, I get one fight career. And this could have been the last one.'
"And to have been so confident going into it, and then still falling short, you've also gotta say, 'Man, maybe you're just not good enough, you know? Maybe it's just not in the cards for you.'"
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But, despite dealing with the crushing disappointment of defeat in such a pivotal bout, Chandler has emerged feeling positive about the future, and said the experience will serve him well moving forward.
"It was a very, very good experience – all of it – because I grew from it," he stated.
"I became better from it. I have been galvanized by those fires, which will, in turn, make me better.
"Maybe it won't ever make me a world champion, but it will make me a better man."
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