A 28-year-old woman on Reddit recently discovered she has a degenerative illness—and her parents had always known it was a possibility.
In the post, which has received 33,000 upvotes, the woman, u/Quirky_Background838, shared that she has Huntington's disease—a hereditary, degenerative illness that her parents had known ran in the family but chose to keep from her. The revelation has left her grappling with feelings of betrayal, especially now that she is a mother herself and fears for her child's future.
In her post, the original poster (OP) described the anger and shock she felt when her parents admitted to hiding the truth about her genetic risk. Her father's mother had Huntington's, and so did her aunt, who passed away a few years ago. However, instead of telling the OP about the potential hereditary illness, her parents told her that her aunt had died of cancer.
"It wasn't until I got diagnosed that they finally came clean and admitted she had the same illness I do," she wrote. "They took that from me, and now I live in constant fear for [my son], too."
The OP wrote that her parents still refuse to take responsibility for keeping her in the dark. While her mother said they were trying to protect her from living in fear, the OP called both of them selfish.
"Yes, I would rather not have been born than deal with this disease," she wrote. "They made a selfish choice, and now I'm paying for it. They knew the risks and did it anyway, for themselves. They wanted kids, and now I'm stuck with this. I called them selfish, and I meant every word."
The OP's parents also begged her not to tell her younger siblings about the risk. But, refusing to keep her parents' secret, she told her siblings the truth. Her brother, who is trying to start a family, was furious and has since gone "low contact" with the parents, as has the OP.
Redditors quickly rallied behind her, with one user, u/axiomofcope, calling the parents' decision to hide such crucial information "unforgivable."
"They removed all proactive choice regarding this illness. Your siblings need to know," another user, u/AwayBid9705, wrote.
An Expert Weighs In
Newsweek spoke to Briana Sefcik, a therapist and director of trauma and family wellness at The Last Resort, about the OP's devastating circumstances.
"Parents often lie or keep the truth hidden because they are 'protecting' their children," Sefcik said. "They likely believe that by not sharing this type of devastating news, they are sparing their child unnecessary anxiety or fear. In reality, though, this often backfires, leading to feelings of betrayal and anger when the truth comes out."
For the OP, the betrayal from her parents goes beyond the diagnosis itself—it's about the denial of her right to make informed decisions for herself and her family. According to Sefcik, healing will take time and will require honest conversations.
"The parents must acknowledge the harm their secrecy caused and show a genuine willingness to make amends," she said, recommending therapy.
Despite the fractured relationship with her parents, Sefcik illuminated one bright spot: the OP's siblings.
"While the trust with her parents may be fractured, having that sibling support can be a crucial lifeline moving forward," Sefcik said. The OP's brother, in particular, has stood by her side.
For now, the OP is focusing on the future, preparing herself and her child for whatever lies ahead. And while her parents may have hidden the truth for years, she has faced it head-on.
Newsweek reached out to u/Quirky_Background838 for comment via Reddit.