A post about a passenger who refused to give up her husband's plane seat to a couple with a baby who wanted to sit together has gone viral on Reddit.
Shared by Nat B., from Wilmington, North Carolina, under the username roxywalker, the post is titled "AITA [Am I the A****** for not giving up my husband's seat on a plane?" It has received 27,000 upvotes since it was posted on December 7.
In the post, Nat B., who did not share her full name with Newsweek, recounts a recent experience on a Delta Air Lines flight from Raleigh, North Carolina, to Paris earlier this summer.
"My husband and I had booked our aisle and middle seats together," Nat B. explained.
While the husband was in the bathroom before the flight, a woman with a baby was already seated in the window seat of their row. When Nat B. placed her purse on her seat to get settled, she was approached by the woman's husband, who had taken her husband's seat.
"He looked at me and said, 'Oh, I need to sit next to my wife and baby,'" wrote Nat B.
She responded that it was her husband's seat. The man then asked if the husband could sit in his seat at the back of the plane, to which Nat B. replied, "I can speak on behalf of my husband and that would be 'no.'"
The couple looked confused, and when they tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, another passenger spoke up. A woman seated behind the woman with the child said, "If you knew you were flying with a baby, you should have made sure your seats were booked together."
The couple later mumbled something about why they couldn't do that and eventually walked away.
Nat B. told Newsweek: "I was definitely surprised when the woman behind us spoke up and felt relieved that she verbalized exactly what I was thinking."
Was the couple being unreasonable or was the poster being too harsh?
Lisa Mirza Grotts, the author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World, told Newsweek: "It's perfectly acceptable to say 'no' if a seat swap doesn't work for you. You booked your seat with intention and have every right to stay in it."
Grotts added that it's the job of flight crew to resolve seating matters diplomatically.
According to a June 2023 survey of 1,000 plane passengers in the U.S. and Canada, conducted on behalf of the travel booking website Kayak, "you are allowed to ask to switch seats if you ask politely" because 54 percent of travelers "have a soft spot for common courtesy."
Those surveyed also said you're allowed to ask to sit next to a family member, partner or friend because 58 percent of travelers "have a grain of empathy."
'The Golden Rule of Good Manners'
Nat B. shared the incident with her husband after he returned to his seat, and he was glad his seat was not given away.
She wrote in the post: "He definitely didn't want to be sent to the back of the plane alone, and I definitely didn't want to be alone sitting next to a couple with a small baby for hours across the Atlantic."
The poster told Newsweek: "Thankfully, flight staff wasn't summoned because that could have gone either way. Seems that airlines don't have a blanket approach to dealing with seat swapping requests while boarding is in action, so your end result depends on the FA [flight attendant] who comes over to assist or the kindness of strangers who are fed up with this happening as well."
Jo Hayes, another etiquette expert, echoed Grotts' perspective.
"The golden rule of good manners and etiquette, including air travel etiquette, is do unto others as you would have them do unto you," Hayes told Newsweek.
Hayes pointed out that if the couple needed to sit together, they should have brought up this concern with the airline staff during check-in "rather than attempting to claim someone else's seat—and putting them in a rather awkward/pressured position."
She added, "It is the job of airline staff/stewards to deal with situations such as this."
Grotts agreed that "the best course of action" would have been to bring the matter to the flight crew, as "this approach avoids unnecessary confrontation and the possibility of escalating tensions, which could lead to air rage."
'That Is Really Ballsy'
The Reddit community largely supported Nat B.'s stance.
User Used-Tangerine-117 summed up the sentiment: "Universal answer: you are never TA [the a******] for sitting in the seat you paid for and were assigned."
Another user commented: "Wow that is really ballsy, some people have no shame haha."
Living_Cranberry_890 said, "She and her husband planned that. They didn't like that you outsmarted them and publicly shamed them. Good for you."
ResponseStrange6118 noted that flight attendants are typically quick to back the passenger who paid for the seat.
Plastic_Melodic suggested, "If you really need to sit together, you offer your seat neighbor in the less desirable spot the 'upgrade' to the better seat—not ask the person in the better seat to move back!"
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