Tiffany Haddish on How She Learned to Love Herself and Overcome Her Struggles: ‘I Was So Mean to Me’

Tiffany Haddish was 25 when she began doing positive affirmations in the mirror. “The first time I did it, I cried really hard, because I [didn’t] love or approve of myself,” the 45-year-old has said.

The L.A. native has been open about her early struggles. She spent much of her childhood in foster care, and was homeless before getting her start in comedy. “As I took on this practice and did it on a regular basis, my life started to slowly change … I really started to recognize my actual beauty and to slowly become confident.”

Now, self-love has become second nature for the Girls Trip star, who released her book I Curse You With Joy in May 2024 and a single, “Woman Up,” with Grammy-winning collaborator Diane Warren, in June 2024. “You become your own best friend,” she exclusively tells In Touch’s Lindsay Hoffman. Here, Tiffany talks about understanding her worth, her surprising dream job and the inspiration for her song.

You’ve been vocal about all the obstacles you’ve overcome. How have those challenges shaped who you are today?
TH: Those struggles made me hard to deter, harder to stop. People try to purposely make you feel like you ain’t s–t, but I’ve already been in the “ain’t s–t” category. I came from [that]. You can’t make me feel like I ain’t s–t anymore.

How come?
TH: I know me; I have a relationship with me, and it’s a very strong one because I’ve been living with me for 45 years. I was kind of messed up to me earlier in the relationship, but we’re working on it. I think every woman should marry themselves before they marry [a man]. How can I expect him to do something that I wouldn’t do for myself?

How else do you protect your peace?
TH: I try to eliminate people that talk negatively. People that send me negative videos. They’re not worth your time. I already know what the negative is.

You wrote about your journey in I Curse You With Joy. How was that process?
TH: I learned so much about myself. Looking at my old journals … I’ve rewritten my story so many times in my head that I’ve been lying to myself and making it worse than what it is. And then sometimes I lie to myself and make it really awesome. But [I was] so mean to me. Can’t nobody be meaner to me than me.

What’s in the book that people don’t know about you?
TH: There’s a chapter called “Sex Ed” that’s quite graphic. I always wanted to be a sex education teacher. I’m talking about things where I made mistakes and fell short. And things I wasn’t informed about, so maybe others don’t make the same mistakes I made.

How was it working with Diane Warren?
TH: A dream come true. I used to dance to all her songs — I still do.

What inspired “Woman Up”?
TH: I was telling Diane how I have to talk to myself to get out of bed and brush my teeth and go do my show or whatever. When I don’t show up to work — especially when I’m No. 1 on the call sheet — that’s 200 people who aren’t working that day. Sometimes you don’t want to because of [certain] things, but you have to move past it and get things done.