Venue Staff Shocked to Be Refused Plate by Bride and Groom—But Who's Right?

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A venue worker has sparked a huge debate over whether staff members should receive a meal while working at catered events like weddings.

Jocelyn Carreno, 23, has worked at the same venue for seven years and told Newsweek: "Usually at our venue, all workers have the opportunity to eat the food that is served at events. Of course, [after] every guest has had the opportunity to get a plate, and if there is any food left."

But after countless baptisms, weddings, and other events, the staff were recently refused a plate from a bride and groom. Carreno took to her TikTok account @jocelynxoxo13 to ask if this was the norm.

Very quickly, the comments rolled in—and Carreno said she was "shocked" by the reaction.

In the video posted on June 10, which has over 600,000 views, Carreno explained the couple denied food to all staff members, including servers, the photographer and bartenders.

She acknowledged they had paid for the food for their invited guests but said, "My Mexican roots have always taught me to never deny a plate to those who are helping [with] an event."

She added that the couple was "amazing," but it was "just a bit off-putting," as the event ended at 2 a.m., and the staff remained to clean up afterward.

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Jocelyn Carreno had always been offered a plate at the venue she's worked at for seven years. When a wedding didn't offer any staff member food, she took to TikTok to ask if this was... TikTok @jocelynxoxo13

Viewers flooded the comments, sparking a grand debate over whether this was normal. One user agreed with Carrero, writing: "I worked at a wedding venue for years and we were never denied a plate. That's wild!"

"Nah that's standard that vendors get a meal. That's straight up an industry standard in events," another commenter said.

Others had very different opinions, with one arguing, "I mean at any other job your boss wouldn't bring you lunch or food during work so why would they."

"My work doesn't provide food for me," another said, as one asked sarcastically: "Do you prefer to get paid in food rather than money?"

And as one put it: "Why would you not bring a meal with you to work?"

Newsweek spoke to wedding planner Alexa Farese of The Wedding Planner LA to get expert insight into the debate. She confirmed: "It is typical to provide meals for some vendors at events—these meals are common enough to have an official name: 'vendor meals.'"

Farese explained that the meals are usually much lower in cost and may be smaller portions or entirely different meals. Some vendors "specifically require a vendor meal per their contract; many expect one either way," she said.

Speaking to Newsweek, Carreno said she was "very shocked to see how many people thought it was ridiculous to expect a plate of food," adding that she believes many of the comments came from people who work regular 9-5 jobs, or jobs with more benefits than events workers may receive.

Carreno, from California, said she also works at a dentist's office and "of course bring my own lunch" when working there.

"People who don't know about the [events] industry have a hard time understanding that bringing your own food can be a huge safety hazard since we only have one fridge, and our clients use that to store their food as well," Carreno said.

Staff members often cannot leave the venue to buy lunch elsewhere, as they must be on hand to deal with any last-minute requests from clients.

"We also know that everyone is stressed when it comes to preparing an event, so we want that day to go as smooth as possible," she said.

Carreno's thoughts were echoed by wedding expert Farese, who said: "Vendors are onsite for events for long periods of time and have no way to safely store/reheat food at a venue, so bringing their own food is not an option.

"They are, of course, still human and need to eat! Keeping staff fed is not only humane but also necessary to keep their energy up so that they can perform their role to the best of their ability!"

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Carreno's question sparked a huge debate. Some agreed that it was normal for staff to receive food while working at large events, while others argued against it. TikTok @jocelynxoxo13

Farese added that clients—in this case, the couple getting married—are usually asked about vendor meals before the event day, as catering teams need to prepare extra food to ensure there is enough for the vendors.

According to data from Statista via The Knot, the average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2023 is $35,000, not counting the jewelry, engagement ring or honeymoon. The United Kingdom follows with an average cost of $28,500 and Spain with an average cost of $25,700.

Acknowledging that catering a large event is expensive, Carreno clarified staff "never help ourselves first" and accept when there isn't enough food left at the end to feed all the staff members, which isn't the hosts' fault.

"I thought that this was more about human decency, and all these negative comments really disappointed me. People are so quick to point out the fact that 'I'm there to do a job' and 'I'm getting paid,' which is very true, but I am also human," she said.

She added: "At the end of the day, only the people who have worked in the industry will be able to understand where our frustration comes from when people make those negative comments."

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