A man has been backed by readers on Reddit after sharing his frustration at his wife's lavish birthday demands.
The man's wife expressed disappointment that he did not arrange a birthday vacation for her, despite their current financial strains. His post, shared to Reddit under u/nicoore on January 2, walked viewers through the couple's struggles with debt and medical expenses while highlighting the wife's persistent desire for a birthday trip.
Newsweek reached out to u/nicoore for more information via Reddit.
With over 13,000 upvotes, the majority of readers on the platform backed the husband in his decision not to spend.
"I have been married for five years with my wife, who I've met nearly 10 years ago. The thing is, she loves traveling. A lot. And she loves traveling on the date of her birthday," the man wrote.
Last year, the couple enjoyed a trip to Maceió, Brazil, and a month-long European adventure. However, the expenses left them in debt, compounded by subsequent health issues that depleted their savings. With his wife's birthday approaching, the couple discussed the impracticality of traveling this year due to financial constraints and their desire to start a family soon.
"I told her that maybe this year we cannot afford to travel anywhere. She didn't like it but agreed," he said.
Despite the agreement, his wife later snapped, expressing anger and sadness over the lack of travel plans.
"The man made the right decision in saving money when they are under a lot of financial pressure," Carly Manning, a therapist, told Newsweek. "Medical expenses and general debt can be very stressful, and if they are looking to start a family then that is going to mean even more money has to be spent."
The therapist notes that, while the wife's reaction seems extreme, it might stem from underlying stress and fears about starting a family.
"Her reaction might not be solely down to the lack of traveling. It might be that she's feeling the pressure and has her own fears and worries that she is struggling to communicate," she added.
The man had shared that his wife never explicitly stated she did not want to travel and expected him to surprise her with tickets anyway.
"I offered to buy some last-minute tickets anywhere, but now she doesn't want [to] because she said I'd just be doing it because she forced me," he wrote.
The post quickly gained traction, with most Reddit users siding with the man. Many emphasized the importance of managing financial responsibilities, especially when planning to start a family, a commitment that carries significant additional costs.
"How does she propose finding the money to travel? Also, maybe you don't have the money right now for month-long vacations thousands of kilometers away but, maybe, if you have the money, you could talk about traveling a few days in your country or the country next to yours," one reader said.
Another added: "The question is are you financially compatible? Are your goals aligned?"
"She just sounds spoilt. I'd love to hear her side of the story because, surely, as a grown-ass adult at her big age, she wouldn't be sulking like this," a third reader said.
Manning suggests that the husband could have considered alternative ways to celebrate his wife's birthday without incurring significant expenses.
"While they cannot afford to travel abroad this year, an overnight staycation or a special day trip could have been a compromise," she said.
The therapist concludes that the whole dilemma boils down to "improper communication."
"The man was clear about why they could not go abroad, but he did not discuss alternative plans for her birthday or list any options they might have had," she said. "Similarly, his wife did not express her disappointment and desires properly, which led to her snapping at him.
"They should sit down and really open up to each other to have a proper discussion about everything they are experiencing at the moment—financially and regarding their plans for starting a family."
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