Andrea Bryne shares fertility struggle moment she said 'go find another woman'

For ITV newsreader Andrea Byrne, life's milestones have arrived a bit later than for others. It wasn't by design, but simply how her journey unfolded.

After travelling and earning a postgraduate degree, she embarked on her career later in life. Her whirlwind romance with international rugby player Lee Byrne led to a swift marriage in her early 30s, after years of establishing a successful career which has seen her become a well-known face presenting the ITV news.

From the moment they met, it was clear they were right for each other and eager to start a family. However, their path to parenthood proved more challenging than anticipated.

The couple spent nearly half a decade trying to conceive, unaware of the emotional rollercoaster that lay ahead. Andrea chronicles their struggle with infertility in her new book, Desperate Rants and Magic Pants: Our Fertility Story.

The book offers a raw insight into the trials faced by couples struggling with infertility, from resorting to acupuncture and even wearing orange underwear, to navigating the myriad medical procedures and medications available, reports Wales Online.

In a candid account that grips the heart, Andrea writes about the uncomfortable nature of dealing with questions from peers and relatives poking into her childbearing plans, concurrently illuminating the challenges of fertility treatments for those unfamiliar. In her book, Andrea firmly declares it wasn't her career that delayed motherhood; rather, it was just how life panned out.

Discussing whether women are unfairly nudged to attribute their successful careers to fertility hurdles, Andrea shared her views with WalesOnline: "It's just generally very hard for women because why shouldn't you be able to have it all? Have a career and a family? And the way it works now, to sort of climb the ladder in our profession, inevitably, if you're going to do that first, you're going to come to think of a family later. And lots of people are meeting later, and lots of men want those careers too."

"But I think because it feels like the clock is ticking more for women biologically, you do inevitably feel that pressure, you feel so guilty anyway on a fertility journey about whether you can give your partner, especially if it is an issue with yourself, you don't need the added pressure of the whys and wherefores and the clock ticking."

"How do I know that could have been exactly the same situation had I tried in my 20s? I didn't know that problem wasn't necessarily to do with my biological clock, the issue I had. So I think people should just take that pressure away from themselves because you can't force yourself to settle down with someone at the wrong time with the wrong person when it's not the right thing. You've got to go with what life throws at you, life never goes perfect."

Throughout their struggles with conception and infertility, Andrea grappled with intense guilt over her inability to conceive. She often felt so hopeless that she would tell Lee to "go and find somebody else, somebody else could do this more easily, just go and find another woman" yet he always insisted they were in it together.

"It seemed to me that everybody around me was pregnant, everyone was doing this so easily, why was it that I was finding it so hard? "she said.

In her book, Andrea reveals that the root of their infertility issues was a problem with the lining of her womb. Her body simply wasn't creating a thick enough lining for embryos to implant.

Despite numerous IVF attempts, medical professionals frequently decided against transferring embryos due to this issue. Andrea went through many medications trying to thicken the lining, but success eluded them and IVF never culminated in pregnancy.

Andrea has candidly shared her battle with fertility, revealing the lengths she went to in an attempt to regain some control over her situation. She explored a variety of alternative therapies including acupuncture, Chinese medicine, and yoga, as well as seeking advice from doctors around the world.

"It helped me feel like I was a bit more in control of the situation," Andrea remarked. "But I think there is a point where you kind of have to have an acceptance and maybe step back a bit. I think you can go down that rabbit hole and get sucked in and you can't see the wood for the trees of what actually is helping and what's not helping. It is very hard not to get pulled into all of those things when it is something you want so, so badly."

After a number of failed IVF cycles, Andrea took part in a clinical trial for a new medication recommended by her consultant.

Although the trial's findings are yet to be released, she believes this treatment played a role in the natural conception of her daughter Jemima, now six. "It was amazing, we were told by several different consultants across the world because we got lots of second opinions, that we would need to go down the surrogacy route as there was such a tiny, tiny chance of those embryos ever implanting. So it is pretty amazing."

Yet, Andrea revealed the continuing battle she faced with anxiety after receiving a positive pregnancy test, because of previous losses. She confessed: "You get that positive test result but then you are worried about what could happen, especially in the early days, we had lost a number of pregnancies by that point."

Recalling past heartbreaks, Andrea opened up about the compounded stress: "We had a miscarriage not long before that, so that was obviously hard because your mind jumps to immediately, is this going to end the same way? And we had just had what they call a chemical pregnancy, which is a horrible term. We had a lot of losses at that moment, I was very anxious. I remember just trying to savour it all, I remember feeling her kicking, I knew, chances are I would never get that feeling again."

After celebrating the arrival of their daughter Jemima, life threw another curveball at Andrea and Lee with a subsequent IVF attempt ending in a pregnancy loss. Finding comfort in sharing her intimate challenges through her book, Andrea found a way to navigate the profound sorrow that marked their path to parenthood.

The couple had been eager to begin their family straight after tying the knot. Yet, with Lee's recent move to play club rugby in France, Andrea was left to align her visits with her ovulation schedule, adding further complexity to their situation.

She eventually took a sabbatical to join him in France, but behind the façade of a relaxing break, they embarked on a gruelling journey of medical appointments and procedures. For years, they covertly juggled their schedules to accommodate doctor's visits, obtain medication, and administer hormone injections, sometimes just before Andrea went on air.

Even at work or social events, painful reminders of her struggle lurked, whether it was a colleague's baby visit, a pregnant friend, or an innocent inquiry about her family plans. However, Andrea believes people are now more considerate when asking sensitive questions like "When are you having children?".

When asked for advice on navigating fertility challenges, Andrea acknowledges the uniqueness of each experience but suggests: "There are so many different ways of making families these days. But I would say, don't let your mind run away with itself. Try really hard to stay in the moment of what's happening at that step. Deal with one step at a time."

Andrea highlighted the significance of finding happiness in life, especially when coping with infertility challenges. She advised: "Find joy where you can find joy... be kind to yourself, because you need to find yourself in all of this and not just be the person who is dealing with infertility. So try really hard to just say, right, we're going to go for a weekend and escape from this for a while. We're going to find the joy of what we've got at that moment because it can be all-consuming."

She has also gathered insights for her book not only from her experience but from familiar faces including comedian Geoff Norcott and BBC TV sports presenter Gabby Logan, showing Andrea's commitment to incorporate male perspectives on infertility.