A newlywed has turned to Reddit to discuss whether she was in the wrong for not putting up a sign to alert her guests that the wedding cake was vegan.
The November 19 post—titled "AITA for refusing to label my wedding cake as vegan because a guest felt 'tricked'?"—quickly went viral, racking up 12,000 votes.
The 30-year-old woman, who goes by /u/kingbuggulug, said she and her husband are vegan and told guests in advance that the food at the wedding would be plant-based.
"No one complained—until the reception," she wrote before describing an interaction with one of her new in-laws.
"The cake was gorgeous: three-tiers decorated with edible flowers. Toward the end of the night, one of my husband's aunts, Linda, came up to me looking visibly upset. She said it was 'disrespectful' to have a vegan cake on display because it felt like I was 'pushing my lifestyle' on everyone," the poster wrote.
"I told her the cake wasn't meant to make a statement, it was just the dessert we chose for our wedding. She insisted I either move the cake off the main table or add a sign saying it was vegan, so people weren't 'tricked' into eating it," she continued.
The poster refused on the grounds that it was her wedding and no one else seemed bothered by the cake.
"Linda ended up storming out, and now my in-laws are saying I should've compromised to avoid drama," she wrote.
'People Do Not Need to Know'
Newsweek spoke with Star Khechara, the founder of the Skin Nutrition Institute, which teaches plant-based skin nutrition to professionals, about the issue.
She said: "People do not need to know that the food is vegan or plant-based, except when declaring allergies (which you'd also need to do for non-vegan food).
"People who make a fuss are being ridiculous because so many common foods are vegan by default: all fruits and vegetables, herbs and spices, grains, beans, nuts, seeds, etc. Even many manufactured and processed foods like bread, fries, certain brands of crisps, and Oreo cookies are vegan.
"Many non-vegans eat plenty of plant-based foods all the time, yet whenever someone hears the 'V word' (vegan), they act as though they'll be served some kind of inedible alien slop. It's so bizarre."
Reddit Reacts
The post has received 2,500 comments, with the top one amassing 16,000 upvotes.
It said: "The whole thing was vegan. It was your wedding, your choice. I wouldn't feel tricked by eating a vegan cake at all. She has some issues. Let her seethe and be upset. You don't owe her anything. Putting up a sign would have rewarded her bad, entitled behavior. You had no reason to do it."
"I think labeling the cake for allergens would be good," another commenter wrote. "Almond and soy are common ingredients for vegan cakes, and they are also common allergens. But labeling a cake as 'vegan' is silly if the whole wedding is vegan."
A user wrote: "Should you also put a sign up if you serve broccoli? You're not tricking anyone into eating something they're allergic to, or tricking vegans into eating a non-vegan cake. This is just absent of certain ingredients. The horror."
If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" section.
English (US) ·