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Ethan Slater’s ex-wife Lilly Jay has penned a devastating essay about their divorce amid her ex-husband’s relationship with Wicked co-star Ariana Grande.
Wicked star Slater, 32, filed for divorce in June 2023 after five years of marriage with Jay, with whom he shares a two-year-old son.
Slater began dating popstar Grande, 31, after they met while filming the Wizard of Oz spin-off blockbuster, as she divorced ex-husband Dalton Gomez in the same year.
Both Grande and Slater claim they were single when they started dating, but Jay seemed to refute these claims when she slammed the Boy Is Mine hitmaker as ‘not a girl’s girl’ and making her family ‘collateral damage.’
Now, Jay has opened up on the effects the public split had on her life and career, saying she misses the ‘invisibility she created for herself’ in an essay for The Cut.
‘No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash,’ she began.
‘But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.’
The psychologist, who specialises in women’s mental health, said she ‘deeply misses the life of invisibility she created for herself’ before her life was thrust into the public eye.
She continued: ‘As a therapist, part of what I could offer my patients was the experience of being in relation with someone else without the complexities of a personal relationship. I was never meant to be fully known to them.’
The mother-of-one, who began dating Slater in 2012, described him as her ‘high school sweetheart’, but admitted the former couple was on ‘different paths’ when it came to their presence in the public eye.
‘It was a tenuous balance — my profession, which requires privacy, and his, which is measured in applause — but it worked well while life was unfolding according to our plans,’ Jay wrote.
When Wicked went into production, Slater and James moved to London with their newborn son, with Jay opening up on the issues that began to arise between the couple.
‘Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn’t understand the growing distance between us,’ she continued.
On the split, she said she feared that postpartum depression and the loss of control would ‘destroy’ her for her ‘entire adult life.’
Despite no longer being married, Jay praised Slater as a co-parent and claimed their approach to parenting their son.
‘While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100% of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided,’ Jay admitted.
‘As for me, days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker.’
She also recalled seeing Slater and Grande in London and how she dealt with seeing them together.
Jay wrote: ‘One day in London, I looked up and found that they had both arrived. And I am okay. If I can’t be invisible anymore, I may as well introduce myself.
‘You know how a sponge is most effective at absorbing liquid when it’s already a bit wet? Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours.’
A source told Mail Online that Slater and Grande are ‘relieved’ that Jay’s essay didn’t ‘throw them under the bus.’
‘Ethan and Ariana are fully aware of what happened, as is everyone who was around at the time. [Lilly] made it clear that she moved to London with him and the timeline from that point forward speaks for itself,’ the insider told the publication.
‘Filming was still occurring when they were first seen being intimate in photos and Lilly was no longer there so people can put two and two together – Lilly didn’t need to.’
They added: ‘During the legal proceedings, Lilly was essentially silenced, unable to speak freely. Despite the circumstances, she came out of the divorce a winner.’
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