The internet has rallied behind a woman for defending her younger brother, after their family began resenting him for dating a wealthier woman.
Redditor u/ldpeterso, 35, shared her dilemma about how her family treats her 27-year-old brother in the r/TrueOffMyChest subreddit, where her post garnered 4,900 upvotes.
"He started dating this girl (26) a bit ago and I think they're a wonderful couple. They very clearly love each other and I sincerely hope it works out between the two of them because she's perfect for him and he seems perfect for her.
"The thing is she and her family are far wealthier than ours and from the beginning I could tell our parents were a little insecure about that," she wrote.
The OP explained that her brother has always been the black sheep of the family. He struggled with learning difficulties and had a lower level of college education than anyone else in his clan. She said she was the only one who truly believed in him.
Despite the challenges, he pursued his dream of working in the film industry, and thanks to his girlfriend's connections, has been steadily employed for the past year.
Tensions reached an all-time high during a family dinner when the younger brother revealed that his girlfriend had invited him to move into her Manhattan apartment. The news sparked a wave of negative comments from family members.
"Every time they made cheap shots at him, I tried to stand up for him, but was met with pushback. By the end of the conversation, it was clear that any defense for him was not welcome and flags are being planted. Afterwards I called my brother to let him know how proud I am of him and how happy I am for him, and he asked if I could come over sometime to show me the new apartment and they even invited me to stay a few days in the city at their place," the OP explained.
Now, she feels overwhelmed by the possibility of a family rift at an already difficult time.
"I love my brother and we text pretty much every day, but I also don't want to burn bridges with other people in the family so I'm frustrated, stressed, scared, and disappointed," she concluded.
Expert Insights
Elvis Rosales, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at Align Recovery Centers, weighed in on the situation to Newsweek.
"Family conflicts around wealth differences often stem from deeper issues of self-worth, fear of change, and perceived threats to family unity. Once a family member dates someone from a different socioeconomic background, feelings of inadequacy or abandonment can be triggered in other family members. This is not just about a wealth divide but a deeper look into emotions rooted in fear of losing connection with a loved one.
"The supportive sibling in this situation has the choice of being the bridge-builder rather than taking sides. That is easier said than done, however, and the best outcome for the family can happen if they embrace the relationship with full understanding that they will not lose the younger brother regardless of his romantic attachments."
Dr. Erika Bach, a licensed clinical psychologist, echoed similar sentiments.
"I think that the writer of this post is correct—the family seems to be threatened by the girlfriend's wealth. Unfortunately, and something that I end up working with many patients on, is the fact that we cannot control other people."
According to Bach, the OP can tell her family she supports the brother and hopes they will do the same, but there is no guarantee that it will change their minds, nor is it her responsibility.
Reddit Reacts
The post sparked strong reactions from Reddit users, many of whom sided with the younger brother.
"Well, I'm camp 'Little Bro.' His GF thinks he's beautiful and if your family can't see the amazing qualities he has then they don't deserve him.
Sorry, your family sounds terrible," one user wrote.
"You know what? My husband's family is also richer than mine but we still support each other with work, time, sometimes money, and a lot of love. But not with jealousy and being angry about others' luck," another Redditor shared.
"He is a goat. A scapegoat.
"Next time, tell your family that green isn't a good look for them," suggested another.
Newsweek reached out to u/ldpeterso for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.