How To Become A 'Babygirl' While Also Being A Boss: Nicole Kidman's Fictional Kink Dynamic Explained

A new erotic thriller illuminates that the version of ourselves we present to the world can be very different from who we are in our sexual fantasies.

In “Babygirl,” directed by Halina Reijn, Romy (Nicole Kidman) seemingly has it all ― a hot husband (Antonio Banderas), two kids, multiple homes, a successful robotics business with employees who admire her. But from the very first scene of the movie, where Romy fakes an orgasm with her husband, it’s clear she’s not satisfied with all aspects of her life.

Her packed daily schedule is a series of obligations: Her husband initiates routine sex that does not excite her. Her daughters yell “Mo-om!” Her close assistant compliments her, and then asks about a promotion. Everyone needs something from Romy.

Enter Samuel (Harris Dickinson). This 20-something intern at Romy’s company immediately clocks that beneath her businesswoman exterior lies a hidden hunger. Self-assured Samuel knows how to take control in a crisis. In their first meeting, Romy watches how Samuel calms down a loose, barking dog on a sidewalk, and fantasizes about it later.

In a subsequent meeting, Samuel bluntly diagnoses her: “I think you like to be told what to do.” Instead of protesting the inappropriate comment, Romy encourages it. They lean closer together and kiss. Gulp.

In a role reversal, Samuel becomes his older boss’ pleasure mentor, introducing Romy to a consensual series of kinky games. Samuel tells Romy what to do in bed; Romy continues to tell people what to do at the office. At night, next to her unaware husband, she hugs the phone while Samuel sexts her. Romy becomes Samuel’s “babygirl,” as he calls her in the film.

When Kidman saw the script, she said she immediately identified with it: “As soon as I heard that it’s called ‘Babygirl,’ I’m like, ‘Yeah I’m down...I want to be the babygirl.’”

If being called a boss at work and a “babygirl” at home sounds exciting, you’re not alone. Therapist and sexologist Nicoletta Heidegger said she sees this “babygirl” desire come up “a lot” with clients.

“People who make countless decisions daily and carry significant responsibility often find immense relief and joy in surrendering control,” said Nazanin Moali, a psychologist and sex therapist. “Leaning into a submissive role, such as ‘babygirl,’ allows them to experience profound intimacy, trust, and a sense of being cared for that contrasts with their professional life.”

What Exactly Is A ‘Babygirl’?

In the film, Romy is the one who is receiving pleasure, on Samuel’s terms. She gets to be carefree for once, and it sexually excites her to surrender control over decisions like how and when clothes come off in the bedroom.

Heidegger said the phrase “babygirl” comes from a type of kink play referred to as “DDLG,” which stands for “Daddy Dom/Little Girl.” In these scenarios, a dominant partner “Daddy” guides and nurtures the submissive partner “little girl.”

The movie hints playfully at this “DDLG” power exchange. During Romy’s sexual breakthrough with Samuel, the audience hears George Michael croon “Father Figure” in the background — an inspired music choice that had me clapping in my seat.

Despite the phrasing, you do not have to be of a certain gender or age to be a “babygirl,” sex therapists say.

For Tanner, “babygirl” energy is “simultaneously submissive, curious, vulnerable, and powerful. Depending on how one embraces their inner ‘babygirl,’ this energy can also show up as bratty, obedient, princessy, and/or mysterious.”

“Being a babygirl is about embracing your desire to be nurtured, cherished, indulged and/or disciplined by someone you trust,” she said.

Why We Want To Be ‘Babygirls’

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In "Babygirl," Samuel (Harris Dickinson) fulfills Romy's submissive fantasies.

It is “incredibly common” for professionals with powerful jobs to gravitate toward the submissive “babygirl” role, said clinical sexologist and sex and dating coach Myisha Battle.

“Instead of calling the shots, your brain relaxes into a dynamic where all you have to do is take orders which can be both freeing and erotic,” Battle said.

“Inhabiting ‘babygirl’ energy can also be a way of seeking permission to allow your needs to take up space,” Tanner noted. “For people who have been taught that they shouldn’t center their desires, rest or pleasure, it can be incredibly powerful to have someone demand that they do so — consensually, of course.”

As we get older, it gets harder to find time to play, especially if you take on a “nurturer” role to your employees and your family, as Romy believes she does. That’s what can be fun about being a “babygirl,” Tanner said.

“Embracing a ‘babygirl’ persona can help lower the pressure to be everything to everyone, and offers a container in which to play,” she said.

How To Channel Your Inner ‘Babygirl’

In the film, Romy’s kinky sexual awakening throws her life into upheaval. But in the real world, there are low-risk ways to explore this power dynamic, should you be curious about it.

Journal your desires.

Start by exploring this desire within yourself. “This isn’t about putting on an identity that isn’t authentic,” Tanner said. “It’s about noticing the moments of ‘babygirl’ that come naturally to you, and leaning in.”

Ask yourself, “What are the contexts, relationships, and times when you feel most comfortable being vulnerable about your desires?” Tanner said. “Are there props that help facilitate you letting some of your walls down?” Perhaps you might notice yourself getting into that “softer” headspace when you add bubbles to your bath, she offered as an example.

Not every part of the “babygirl” dynamic may be for you, and that’s totally OK. Ask yourself, “Do you just want to be told what to do? Would you like to receive tasks and punishments? If so, what types of punishments would you consent to?” Battle said.

Journaling about what you find appealing about this power dynamic can be clarifying. “It’s natural to feel nervous or even ashamed about sharing something so personal, but taking the time to understand your desires will improve your ability to communicate them clearly” to yourself or someone else, Moali said.

Talk about it outside the bedroom with a partner.

If you want to try this kink with a partner, Moali recommends having the conversation in a neutral, nonsexual setting, so you can “focus without the pressure of the moment.”

“Be specific and use clear language to explain what you’re seeking: Is this a pure fantasy that you want to share verbally, or do you want to explore certain aspects of it together?” Moali said. “Give your partner space to ask questions and process their thoughts — it might take time for them to understand and respond.”

Use Kidman’s movie as an icebreaker.

You could use “Babygirl” itself as a conversation starter with someone you’re interested in exploring this dynamic with. “Ask them how they feel about the dynamic, which side(s) of the dynamic they feel most drawn to, and share about how you relate to the dynamic too,” Tanner suggested.

Their reaction to the film may tell you all you need to know. It might even be the opening you’ve been waiting for.