Jesse Eisenberg Swears He’s Less Famous Than You’d Think

Holly Hunter.

Such intensity and such power.

Danny McBride.

The single greatest improviser I’ve ever met in my life.

You know he’s Jewish?

McBride?

His mother.

That does explain a lot.

Your producer, Emma Stone.

I knew she was brilliant the first time I met her. I was already cast [in Zombieland], and we were auditioning others for the role. Everyone else came in and tried to ingratiate themselves to the cast. She just came in and made fun of me for 20 minutes in the scene. I couldn’t keep up. I was five years older, and, you know, I’m a funny person, but I could not keep up with this young 20-year-old. She is truly a comic genius and a brilliant actress and a great producer. We’re on the phones with the studio, and she’s like, “This needs to be in the trailer, this needs to be that—”

She’s an active producer, not just lending her name.

No, she’s at the monitor giving me notes. But I’m getting her early in her producing career. Will she stay this way? God, we all hope so.

You are wisely not on social media, so you may be unaware of an interview you gave with a British magazine at the release of Zombieland that goes viral again every few years. You were asked about your life in New York, and you said sometimes people say mean things to you on the street. The journalist said, “Like what?” and you said, “I get called Napoleon Dynamite a lot,” and—

Oh, Abraham!

You remember Abraham!

Of course.

You regularly biked past him outside his school. He would shout out, “Napoleon Dynamite” and you said to him, “Please, Abraham, I’m not that man.” And that’s how the story ended. Now, there are many questions. First, how did you know his name was Abraham?

I met him! I said, “Hi, how are you?” And then he made fun of me.

When you said to him, “Please, Abraham, I’m not that man,” what did he say back?

He couldn’t care less. He’s a good comic. Don’t let the facts get in the way of a punch line. He’s doing the right thing.

When was the last time you saw Abraham?

I’m sure he—well, I hope he graduated. It was 15 years ago. He was a sweet kid, very tall.

You know, in A Real Pain, you name your kid Abraham.

Oh my God.

That’s not why he has that name. Originally in the script, you see how my wife is Indian American, and that she converted and, in a way that converts sometimes overcompensate, their son has an extremely Jewish name. But this does now have the added effect of revenge.