While most of Sarah Hyland‘s fans know her as the hilarious Haley in Modern Family, Hyland’s life away from the screens has had some terrifying lows too. In 2014, while Hyland ended her five-year relationship with fellow actor Matt Prokop, accusations of abuse came to light when she was granted a restraining order against him.
Since then, Hyland has been open about her experience being in an abusive relationship and how she’s received support, from her friends and family and from cast members like Julie Bowen, to heal.
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And, on Oct. 24, she was honored at Variety’s Power of Women event with the first-ever Variety Courage Award, presented by Purina, which celebrated her outspoken advocacy for survivors of domestic violence.
“Accepting this award for courage has made me think a lot about what that word means to me,” an emotional Hyland said in her acceptance speech. “It takes courage to wake up every morning and face the world knowing that people may have no idea what you are going through, it is all too easy to feel isolated and misunderstood, no matter how strong you are.”
In a sit-down interview with the outlet, Hyland explained to Variety why her healing journey will always be a part of her life.
“[PTSD lingers] in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people,” Hyland said. “It’s almost like you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You want it to be done, and that’s that. I completely understand the dissociation pattern of it. I am very much guilty about it myself.”
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But, according to Hyland, sometimes things happen that bring up all those feelings again, showing that she hasn’t moved up like she’d hoped. “Until something happens where I’m triggered, and I didn’t realize that part of myself had been healed,” she said. “I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that.”
“It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit,” she added so poetically. “It’s more so putting love towards that scar instead of hating it and ignoring it.”
Luckily, with her speaking out about her experience, Hyland hopes to help others around the world get out of their unstable situations, and understand how rocky the path of recovery really is.
“For thousands of years now, we didn’t talk about it. The community hasn’t shared enough, I believe,” she said. “And I feel that if we talk about it more, more women — and men and just human beings in general in abusive relationships — will feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it with their loved ones instead of letting their abuser isolate them from everyone, which is the first thing that they do so that you don’t have that community. So we have to keep talking about it. It’s really important to be able to help those in need.”
We’re applauding Hyland for being brave enough to tell her story.
If you or someone you know has been the victim of emotional or physical violence, you can get help. To speak with someone who is trained to help with these situations, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or chat online at www.thehotline.org/