Two former special forces soldiers have spoken out about the experiences they've gone through in war.
Talking together as part of LADbible show The Meet, SAS veteran Mark 'Billy' Billingham and former Delta Force member Chris VanSant discussed their respective experiences in the armed forces, from the gruelling training needed to make it to the moments when their lives were on the line.
Both have years of experience in their respective armed forces, and now Billingham appears on SAS Who Dares Wins, while VanSant works as a consultant and sits on the board of the All Secure Foundation which helps remove the stigma of military veterans seeking help.
Chris VanSant (left) and Billy Billingham (right) discussed being part of the 'glad-to-be-alive club' and the near misses of their career (LADbible)
In his career, he was also part of the operation to capture Saddam Hussein during the Iraq War, who he recounted said 'I'm Saddam Hussein, the leader of Iraq, and I want to negotiate' after being discovered.
As part of their conversation, the two veterans discussed being part of the 'glad-to-be-alive club', as Billy said that people would often ask him about moments when he'd 'been lucky to walk away' and explained that it was 'every single day' where they'd been 'shot at, frigging blown up or a combination of both'.
Recounting a particularly close shave he spoke about clearing a house, he said: "We'd already blown in so I thought 'there's never gonna be anybody alive in this anyway'.
"I remember stepping into a doorway and I just literally look from here to where that puddle is away and there's [a man] with a smile on his face, with an AK and let rip.
"And for whatever reason, he was either f**king blind or I had the luck of the gods on my side that day, the rounds, about six rounds went between my chin and my weapon and through my sight and into the wall, and the sight exploded in my face.
"I felt a hand on my back and it pulled me back out the room, and I was, like, covered in f**king blood. That day as well, which is weird, I wore glasses. I never wore glasses 'cause they irritate me, and luckily, I did because, I've still got the glasses now. I'd have been blinded.
"We went back into the room and dealt with that, it didn't happen again."
The two men discussed what they'd experienced, and the hardest parts of it (LADbible)
Chris added his own experience on the matter, agreeing with Billy that it was something they were asked about often.
VanSant said: "I think people always ask, 'How many times have you been in a situation like that?' And honestly, the number gets to be..."
Elsewhere in the conversation, Billy told Chris about being deployed to Bosnia, calling it a 'real eye-opener to war and conflict'.
The SAS veteran had been there for 'surveillance and reporting in', saying: "I remember one situation coming across, just like this, walking, we were going through a village that had just been smashed and, you know, it was still on fire and all this sort of stuff.
"And on the way out, there's an orchard and I just saw this big pile of something covered in blue tarpaulin, and it was like you could smell death. And I was like, 'right, let's stop the vehicle'.
"Long story short, I remember going in there, pulling this tarpaulin, and had just piles of bodies. It was bodies that had been killed a week ago, up to probably hours ago before we got in."
He could see that the bodies at the bottom of the pile were soldiers, and piled on top of them were the corpses of 'civilians and children'.
Chris added that some of the most difficult parts to deal with included coping with the loss of comrades and the 'survivor's guilt' that came with losing friends.
"Lost a lot of mates over the years, but for me, kind of the turning point, and I had some mental health struggles post-service, but kind of the turning point for me, and I didn't really understand it at the time, but in 2005, I missed a rotation," he explained.
"So I took a rotation off to do some training, do a training course, and I didn't deploy. And on that deployment, I lost a teammate, my team got shot up, another squadron mate was shot and killed, and my best friend was shot and killed on a target.
"I knew nothing about survivor's remorse or survivor's guilt, when I think about now, you know, now I know there was nothing I could have done about that.
"That course of events was gonna happen whether I was there or I wasn't there, but for a lot of years, I struggled with that, with not understanding why I felt this big empty hole because my best mate died and I wasn't there."
English (US) ·