Shawn Mendes is right to call speculation about his sexuality 'intrusive'
Figuring out your sexuality can be a challenging and sensitive endeavour made worse by external pressure. The scale of that pressure on celebrities, who have millions of fans and the merciless tabloid press to answer to, doesn't bear thinking about. Shawn Mendes is someone who has had to answer questions about his sexuality – questions he doesn't necessarily know the answers to – for almost 10 years now. In an interview with Rolling Stone in 2018 he spoke about 'this massive, massive thing for the last five years about me being gay'. The following year, he told The Guardian he gets 'mad when people assume things' and imagines the people 'who don't have the support system' he has and how it might affect them. Just last month, six years later, he told the audience of his concert in Colorado that he is still 'figuring out' his sexuality 'just like everyone'. 'I don't really know sometimes and I know other times,' he added. 'It feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say about that.'
Apparently he made the comments on stage before performing an unreleased song about how the endless speculation about his sexuality has made him feel. He continued, 'The truth is that I didn't get to do a lot of 15-year-old things and discover parts of myself that you do at 15. There's this thing about my sexuality, and people have been talking about it for so long that it's kind of silly, because I think sexuality is such a beautifully complex thing, and it's so hard to just put into boxes. 'It always felt like such an intrusion on something very personal to me. Something that I was figuring out in myself, something that I had yet to discover and still have yet to discover it. The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I'm just figuring it out like everyone.' While this was a brave and no doubt inspirational thing for Mendes to do, it's entirely unjust that he has had to address his sexuality so many times and often not on his own terms just because he's famous. No one should ever be made to feel interrogated or judged on the basis of their sexuality, whether it's clear what it is or not. That kind of pressure is of no use to anyone – especially those who admire said celebrity and might be going through something similar. Unfortunately, Mendes is not the first celebrity to be pressurised into addressing their sexuality against their will. The star of Netflix's teen rom com Heartstopper, Kit Connor, took to X in 2022 to write, 'Back for a minute. I'm bi. Congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show.'
Connor had been accused of queer-baiting by some fans of the series on social media, whereby he allegedly benefits from playing a queer role without having to go through any of the real life experiences of a queer person. Perhaps in response to the endless speculation and commentary on the platform a few weeks before, the actor had deleted his account writing, 'this is a silly silly app. bit bored of it now, deleting twitter :).' Alice Oseman, the creator of Heartstopper, later wrote, 'I truly don’t understand how people can watch Heartstopper and then gleefully spend their time speculating about sexualities and judging based on stereotypes. I hope all those people are embarrassed as F***. Kit you are amazing.' Connor was met with an outpouring of support following his statement, it's just a shame that same support wasn't shown to him while his sexuality was private. Similarly, Billie Eilish was forced to comment on her sexuality after briefly mentioning her attraction to women in a cover story for Variety. Eilish called out the magazine on social media to say it 'outed' her. In an interview with Vogue shortly afterwards the singer said, 'I wish no one knew anything about my sexuality or anything about my dating life. Ever, ever, ever. And I'm never talking about who I'm dating ever again.' American actor Joshua Bassett, for his part, sparked speculation about his sexuality in 2021 when he said he admired Harry Styles. 'He's just cool. Like, he's cool. Who doesn't think Harry Styles is cool? Also, he's hot,' the actor said before adding, 'I guess this is also my coming-out video.' He then released a statement on X to say 'It's ok to still be figuring out who you are'. Other stars who have had their sexuality publicly questioned and discussed include Harry Styles himself, Neil Patrick Harris, Ricky Martin, Katy Perry, Stephen Gately and Taylor Swift to name a few. George Clooney has also been questioned about his sexuality in the past and has learnt to ignore the speculation. 'Who does it hurt if someone thinks I'm gay?' he asked in an interview with The Advocate in 2012. 'I'll be long dead and there will still be people who say I was gay.' That's all to say that this is not a new phenomenon. Just because someone is in the public eye does not mean we are entitled to know everything about them, particularly when it's something as personal as their sexuality. Mendes is the latest star to respond to the pressure, let's hope he is also one of the last. Nikki Peach is a writer at Grazia UK, working across pop culture, TV and news. She has also written for the i, i-D and the New Statesman Media Group and covers all things TV for Grazia (treating high and lowbrow shows with equal respect).
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