Woman Reveals Why She Couldn't Look at Her Baby Moments After Birth

The moments following childbirth are often depicted as an emotional rush of love, but one mom from London was in so much shock after giving birth that she couldn't look at her baby.

Instead of feeling immediate joy, Poppy Child, 34, gave herself a few minutes to recover from the intensity of childbirth.

Child told Newsweek that when she had her first child, she was placed on her before being taken away for tests and felt as though she wasn't afforded time to settle back into her body. "It all felt rushed," she added.

Screenshots of Poppy Child's video. She needed time to "come back whole" and embrace her newborn daughter without being rushed. @popthatmumma

For her second-born, Child wanted her experience to be different. Sharing the raw moments after she had given birth in a reel on Instagram, Child stares into the distance with her newborn in her arms.

"I just need a moment," she said to her husband who was present as she gave birth in their home.

Child, founder of online hypnobirthing course Birth Box and a childbirth educator, said that she learned to embrace what she calls the birth pause—a moment to settle, breathe, and fully arrive in her own body before connecting with her newborn.

"Please know that if you experience this, it's OK—you just need a little time to exhale the birth and come back into your body," she wrote in her caption, posted under the handle @popthatmumma.

"When I finally came down from the intensity of birth, it all happened in its own time, allowing me to come back whole and strong, ready to embrace my baby with every ounce of my being. And when I did, it was pure magic," she told Newsweek.

Newsweek spoke to doula and nutritional therapist, Crystal Miles, (@connectedbabies on Instagram) who said that childbirth can be a shock to the system. A doula is a trained professional who provides support around the time of childbirth.

"We're socialized to believe that when our baby is first placed in our arms we have a rush of overwhelming love, the truth is, although it can happen that way, sometimes it takes it a little time," Miles told Newsweek.

This, she said, is called delayed bonding, when a new mom does not feel a strong emotional attachment to their baby. Miles explained that several factors can disturb or delay bonding between mother and child, such as exhaustion and stress.

"The wonderful thing about bonding is that it's a process, not a moment. Unlike some animals, we don't miss a window. It's never too late for human beings to bond, and it is a process that can be deeply enhanced by nurturing touch and close connection," she said.

Child's reel has since garnered over 12 million views and 376,000 likes. Fellow moms commented on their experiences with the immediate moments after childbirth. One wrote that she couldn't talk after giving birth and carried the guilt of not being able to hold her son until she saw Child's reel.

"Mama has already been through a lot, she deserves all the time she needs to adapt," one wrote.

A mom, who commented under the handle @isabelremillard, wrote: "I needed to take a moment too, it was such a powerful overwhelming experience."

Child also wrote in the text overlay that she was grateful to have not been rushed—by her husband or her doula. Once she was given the time and space, the mom of two told Newsweek that oxytocin—often referred to as the love hormone—pulsed through her veins.

"The bond was instant. I've never felt love like it, and that feeling has carried me through my postpartum journey," she said.